So I cannot think about Father's Day without thinking about what it actually means to be a man, to be a good husband and father. What is the essence of being a 'man'? Or, more importantly, what's the gist of being a 'gentleman'? Do men still play into age old stereotypes where they are told to be macho and mean? For me Father's Day is about feminism and realizing that real men value the importance and role that women play within our society.
My big complaint about guys is that they don't realize that women are:
1) Usually, if not ALWAYS, right about EVERYTHING.
2) Smarter and more capable than men (in general).
3) Able to fix and handle projects/situations on their own, if given the chance.
4) Amazing multi-taskers and problem solvers given having to balance motherhood with careers (or out of home duties)
5) Incredible and beautiful in that, as mothers, they carried a living human in their womb for nine months and went through hour upon hour of excruciating pain at giving birth.
Now, I am biased, as a male feminist who generally feels more passionately about women's rights and feminism than my own wife. However, my complaint is that many men are too macho and chauvinistic. They try to act all tough and gruff. Spitting and adjusting your ech um belt is not civilized in any form. What's more is that women of 2013 want men who are a little sensitive and artistic. The image of men having to play the role of cowboys or meathead jocks is cliche and what the French would call, demode (old fashioned). I think of the Marlboro Man here, or the Western cowboy who carries the dame off on his horse at sunset. Now, I'm sure women fantasize about such men but when it comes to reality, it doesn't cut the mustard. Now, I'm not a woman or attracted to men so I am only observing what I feel most women would desire out of a mate. I surmise, though that when women look for permanent relationship material, that they want a guy who drops all the macho crap.
Real men realize the value of women and the true beauty that they possess. If you're a real man, you don't care if your girlfriend or wife wears make-up or if she has gained a few pounds. If you're a real man, you fell in love with the woman for her intellect and soul. Looks play into things but only in the sense that real men love looking into a woman's eyes as much as he enjoys interlocking hands with her fingers. Yes, men, are in general obsessed with breasts, but it's not all about the (to be crude) T & A, not at all. That's what rappers and douchebags talk about non-stop.
Now, some guys reading this might already be thinking 'aw this dude is such a p-ssy'. Well, thinking that way makes it definite that the tables are actually turned on you. Like I said, too many guys have this image in their head of being in control and having to always be right. I admit that I'm very stubborn and that when I'm arguing, I have a mentality ('mantality') that I have to win. Sometimes, I admit shamefully, I even say things to my wife to see how she'll react or what she'll say. Yes, I thrive on conflict. But I listen to my wife's advice and her words, despite her thinking that I ignore her. I know, deep down inside that a) she knows me really well, b) she wants what's best for me, and c) she loves and cares about me; so shut up and listen. Yes, the key to a happy marriage is just to say 'yes, dear' and 'you know you're right, I should...right away.'
Take it from me, women are right most (if not all) of the time so it's futile to try and win any argument no matter how pithy or insignificant it seems. If your wife wants the dishes to be done and put away a certain way, do it that way. If she wants a specific brand of bleach or garbage bag, then get exactly what she asks for. If you don't, you'll have to go back to the store and return what you go to get the right item, whatever it is. So I will outline my advice below:
10 Rules for a WINNING 'MANTALITY'
1: Don't think you'll win an argument because you won't.
2: Make a specific shopping list and make sure you get everything on it. (be very detailed)
3: Don't rush a woman when she is buying/looking at shoes.
4: Get a gal flowers every now and then (surprise her).
5: Make her feel pretty and special by giving compliments and saying a certain pair of jeans looks attractive (even though you've seen her in said pair of jeans all day).
6: Try to co-manage the household duties and decisions. She shouldn't have to do everything.
7: Dads, do NOT let her parent alone. Get your hands dirty and get in there.
8) Women can use power tools too. I've seen women fix/install things better than me. (IJ: even toilets)
9) Never call a woman 'fat', 'bitch', 'stupid', 'ugly', etc. Put-downs are a quick way to bachelor-ville.
10) WOMEN ARE SUPERIOR TO MEN! It's the truth. 'Yes dear' is the key to bliss!
So there you have it. I have outlined how a real man should and ought to act toward his woman. You must give respect to your partner to receive it back. That whole traditional image of men as bread winners who make all the tough decisions concerning finances and life changing matters, is bunk. Men should not fall into the whole Marlboro Man/James Bond/Superhero/Caveman image. WE are better than that crap. It's time to man up and just admit that women are just, well, not men and that's why we (as heterosexual men) love and appreciate them. Men, could you stand being married to or dating yourself? Imagine it! Really! Imagine it! Yea, not only creepy but you'd punch yourself in the face out of annoyance. As much as I'm an ego maniac, I do not want to marry/date myself. So that's the reason I revere women and admit that they're better. WOMEN RULE!
NOTE: This argument has nothing to do with homosexuality. By saying that I do not want to date myself and thereby, having it fuel my reverence of women does not mean that I reject homosexuality. Far from it. I'm an LGBTQ ally and I respect and value every kind of relationship under the sun. However, I do not want to imagine a world where I'm married to myself. That's all!!
Masculinely yours,
~R~
And for the record, guys, THIS is what we're fighting against (images below):
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