Ze Doldrums

So I will make a playlist (in no particular order) of songs for 'ze doldrums'.  When you get down and out, feel free to listen to the same tunes.  Or, build from it.  You know, since 'Everybody hurts, sometimes'.  Some people don't like feeling sad.  But I say, when  you're sad and blue, cry it out until you feel better.  It might take a few days or a week, but you cannot ignore your feelings even if they're uncomfortable or dark.  Embrace the darkness and just let your pain out.  If you don't express your emotions, then they'll eat you alive.  So I say when you're feeling down, just curl up with a blanket and some tea and listen to some sad songs. 

Playlist for 'ze Doldrums':

1) 'Medicine' by Daughter

"Pick it up, pick it all up.
And start again.
You've got a second chance,
you could go home.
Escape it all.
It's just irrelevant.
It's just medicine.
It's just medicine.

You could still be,
what you want to,
What you said you were,
when I met you.

You've got a warm heart,
you've got a beautiful brain.
But it's disintegrating,
from all the medicine."

 *Here is a sweet cover of 'Medicine' by Laura Hahn

 

2) 'Street Spirit (Fade Out)' by Radiohead

"Rows of houses, all bearing down on me

I can feel their blue hands touching me
All these things into position
All these things we'll one day swallow whole
And fade out again and fade out...

Cracked eggs, dead birds

Scream as they fight for life
I can feel death, can see its beady eyes
All these things into position
All these things we'll one day swallow whole
And fade out again and fade out again."

 

*Sasha and Shawna cover of 'Street Spirit (Fade Out)'

 

3) 'Who Wants to Live Forever' by Queen

"There's no time for us,

There's no place for us,
What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us.
Who wants to live forever..

But touch my tears with your lips,

Touch my world with your fingertips,
And we can have forever,
And we can love forever,
Forever is our today,
Who wants to live forever.."

4) 'Into Dust' by Mazzy Starr

"Still falling.
Breathless and on again...
Like two strangers turning into dust
Til my hand shook with the weight of fear
I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
I could feel myself growing colder...
I could feel my eyes turning into dust."

5) 'Hurt by Nine Inch Nails

"What have I become?
My sweetest friend.
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end.
You could have it all.
My empire of dirt.
I will let you down.
I will make you hurt.

I wear this crown of shit.
Upon my liar's chair.
Full of broken thoughts.
I cannot repair.
Beneath the stains of time.
The feelings disappear.
You are someone else.
I am still right here.."

 

6)  'Svefn-g-englar' by Sigur Ros

(I will not put lyrics to this song because Sigur Ros writes their songs in Vonlenska, the 'gibberish' language of Sigur Ros which focuses on the sounds and emotion of language but lacks grammar and literal meaning.)

  

7) 'It Can't Come Quickly Enough' by the Scissor Sisters

"There's no indication of

What we were meant to be.
Sucking up to strangers
Throwing wishes to the sea.

It can't come quickly enough.
And now you've spent your life
Waiting for this moment.
And when you finally saw it come.
It passed you by and
Left you so defeated."

  

8) 'Kill the Messenger' by Rio en Medio

"Take these shoes so I can fly away;
they were fine when I was running.
Hear my voice as it fades away,
now listen 'cause it's coming, coming.

Through the reigns and legs and air,
a messenger is coming."

*check out their other stuff; it's awesome!

9) 'Bullet Proof..I Wish I Was' by Radiohead

 "Limb by limb and tooth by tooth
Tearing up inside of me
Every day every hour
I wish that I was bullet proof

Wax me
Mould me
Heat the pins and stab them in
You have turned me into this
Just wish that it was bullet proof."

  

10) 'Space Oddity' by David Bowie

"Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles, I'm feeling very still

And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much, she knows
Ground control to major Tom, your circuits dead, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, major Tom?"

  

11) 'Man that you Fear' by Marilyn Manson

"I was born into this.
Everything turns to shit.
The boy that you loved is the man that you fear.
Pray until your number,
Asleep from all your pain,
Your apple has been rotting.
Tomorrow's turned up dead.
I have it all and I have no choice but to
I'll make everyone pay and you will see."

12) 'Disarm' by Smashing Pumpkins

"Disarm you with a smile.

And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child.
Inside of me and such a part of you.
Ooh, the years burn.

I used to be a little boy.
So old in my shoes.
And what I choose is my choice.
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you."

 13) 'Mad World' by Gary Jules

(or anything from the Donny Darko soundtrack)

"Children waiting for the day they feel good.

Happy birthday, happy birthday.
And I feel the way that every child should.
Sit and listen, sit and listen.
Went to school and I was very nervous.
No one knew me, no one knew me.
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me.

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take.
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world.."

14) 'Sounds of Silence' by Simon and Garfunkel

"Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain.
Still remains.
Within the sound of silence."

*this is a marvelous cover version by Kina Grannis

 

15) 'Margish' by Amir Fay Gutman 

אני מוכן כבר לא מרגיש חצוי
פח האשפה שלי מרוקן
אני עצמי מלא מקום ופנוי
הכנות אחרונות לוידוי
עטוף צללים בכחול רוצה להיות הכי קרוב
אסור לי להמשיך לחיות לא לחיות
כי מבלי להרגיש בכל יום אמות קצת
ואחיה קצת פחות

אנשים תמיד מתחבאים
עד שזה כואב והם מתפרצים
הם נחשפים ומשתנים
וגם אני בניתי סביבי חומות הגנה
ולא הייתי אני עד שכאב לי
והסתכלתי לעצמי בעיניים
ועכשיו
אני מרגיש

  

16) 'Just Another Day' by Air

 (The Virgin Suicides soundtrack is also fantastic for a blue mood.)

"Say
Goodbye
Sunshine
Daylight
'Cause it's just another day
You will lose it anyway

Kiss
The time
That goes
Away
'Cause it's just another day
You will lose it anyway"

 

17) 'Stealing Tomorrow' by Great Lake Swimmers

"And I built this all around me.

 I refuse to let anyone through...

And it's like someone else is driving

Like this body isn't mine.
Changed myself without even telling you.
Or even asking and I need relief..

And you don't even know half of it.
I cannot turn it off.
I don't have a switch for that.
and haven't crash landed yet.."

18)  'Everybody Hurts' by REM

"If you're on your own in this life.
The days and nights are long.
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes.
Everybody cries...

Hold on."

So that's my playlist for melancholia.  It won't 'cure' you but hopefully it will make you feel better.  Have a good cry.  Then realize that life isn't as bad as you think.  There's always a way out of the dark tunnel.  And help is never too far away.  

I used to have a co-worker who always mentioned when I was in a sad, somber mood because sshe didn't like it.  She didn't like feeling sad and only liked being in my company if I was happy.  That is so self-centered.  People are allowed to feel sad and unhappy.  I'm all for crying in public and hugging the stranger next to you.  Why not?  We aren't programmed to be happy all the freakin' time.  Sometimes, we just feel the weight of the world and have to sulk.  

I hope you find the playlist I made helpful.  Remember, crying is the best therapy to feel better.  I swear by having a good cry every now and again.  It's okay.  Cry.  Okay, now watch some funny, sappy movie (like Cry-Baby or Hairspray) that will make you forget

A sad clown,

~R~

'Rainy Days and Mondays'- The Carpenters

Summer's Demise: A Mix in the Key of D

  

We look forward to summer all year long.  Kids long for being a summer camp and adults picture their dream vacation or getaway.  Then, when August rolls into September, what do we have to show for it all?  Campers tell friends that they'll write to them over the year.  Summer romances must decide whether to forgo the effort or swim against the tide.  Vacations and adventures are reduced to rehashed episodic anecdotes that no one really cares about.  So here's a question worth asking.  When summer ends, what do we have to show for it?  I think music best captures our memories and reflections of a time best summed up in images anyway.  

Catching lightning bugs, watching fireworks, running after the ice cream truck, having light to play until nearly 10pm, making s'mores, singing at campfires, camping and hiking excursions are image that come to mind.  Me, I remember lying in my grandfather's hammock in his backyard listening letting of the tzzuezz cicadas lull me to sleep.  Summer is a time of frolic and fun.  And as it ends, so does our youth, in a sense. I always thought to myself that I should go live in the Southern Hemisphere for the half of the year that we experience autumn and winter so I don't have to leave youth.  But, we all know that like everything, it must end.  'Nothing gold can stay', after all!

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'Blurred Lines' by Robin Thicke

'When I Get You Alone' by Robin Thicke

Exactly ten years ago, in 2003, Robin Thicke came out with his debut album, A Beautiful World.  I remember the moment when I saw the video for 'When I Get You Alone' on MTV2 (back when there was such a thing that only showed videos).  This was back when MTV was just getting raunchy and bubblegum with the Carson Daily video countdown and shows like Jackass or Next.  I loved what I heard, and immediately got the album when it came out.  It was good.  No, it was great.  I had not heard a white dude with so much soul since, well, ever really.

Robin Thicke, as you may all know is the son of actor, Alan Thicke, best known for his role as the psychiatrist Ward-like dad, Dr. Jason Seaver, on Growing Pains.  Robin Thicke's mother, Gloria Loring is also an actress and a singer.  Robin Thicke is all over the airwaves now.  I think we can officially deem his song the hit of summer 2013.  Ever car stereo and grocery store speaker plays that catchy song.  It's in your head and probably in your Itunes library.

It's not a bad song but I am resentful that ten years ago I called this.  I knew Robin Thicke would be huge.  When his single and debut album came out, I was talking about him but no one else seemed to know who he was.  I didn't hear his stuff at any college parties and except for his hit 'When I Get You Alone', he was virtually unheard of.  This single came in 2002, and its success was a catalyst for the release of his debut album in 2003.  But unlike his first single, the album didn't gain as much notoriety.  I remember the single in the movie for the book, The Rules of Attraction (which, by the way, has a kickass soundtrack.)  Other than that, nothing. 

In fact, I thought, after the album's release, that Robin Thicke faded into the abyss of one-hit wonder fate.  I was upset because I knew he was such a talent.  But fast forward ten years and boom.  He's come out with five other albums, which includes Blurred Lines.  He's had other success, though,  since his first album until now.  His 2007 album, The Evolution of Robin Thicke was number one on the Billboard Top R&B/Hip-Hop chart.  His 2008 album, Something Else sold around 140,000 copies in its first week and was number three on the Billboard 200 Chart.

All I can say is that 'I called it'.  Though his summer hit is slightly annoying, I will say 'I told you so'.  It's like my Green Day story.  When I was in sixth grade, I remember sitting in art class and telling my peers, 'hey guys, have you heard of Green Day?'.  They had not.  But a year later, everyone had.  Dookie  was bought as a tape (when you could still get those) or CD for every birthday party.  So I called that one too.  I just never get any credit.  Sigh!

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As summer comes to a close, we often reflect upon our travels and adventures and what they have taught us.  Summer is a metaphor for adolescence and youth.  Perhaps the reason that many people feel so glum and sentimental at the end of summer is that as we enter fall, we metaphorically enter into adulthood.  The end of summer represents 'the fall' in poetry and literature.  At summer's end, we fall from innocence and naivety.  We shed our youth and energy and find our true skin.  We wiggle around in our new skin, though everything seems too roomy and too expansive.

It is not easy to transition from childhood/adolescence into adulthood.  Many people often ask what that one moment was when you remember feeling like an adult.  For me, it was when I took six kids to a punk rock show in Boston at the Avalon.  And I still remember exactly which six kids it was.  When I worked at a boarding school in Massachusetts, I used to take the students on weekend excursions.  My first such adventure was driving a bus with six students to a punk rock show at the Avalon in Boston.  They're all adults now.  And the Avalon has since closed.  And it's been almost ten years since I lived in Boston. So even retelling this story makes me feel old. 

I don't know what possessed me to actually drive the bus into Boston.  I thought, after just attending graduate school there, that I could navigate the streets easily.  No problem.  Only when I lived in Boston, I never actually drove in the city.  I took the T (subway) everywhere and only drove to get groceries or to the school I was student teaching at.  And note that I lived across the Charles River in Medford/Somerville which is different than Boston proper.

So as we are about 15-20 miles outside of Boston, it starts snowing.  And note that this is just before Halloween, late October.  And I don't mean a little snow.  There was snow coming down so hard that I had to crouch over the steering wheel to see out the window.  Windshield wipers were going at full speed.  Once I'm in Boston, or at least around Porter Square right outside of Cambridge, I see a parking lot.  But I don't go into the parking lot with the bus.  I think that I can find the destination, which is right near Fenway and BU in Kenmore. 

I asked for directions multiple times.  It's still snowing.  The kids are getting antsy and we're already an hour late for the show.  Plus the kids are getting hungry.  Then I see a grocery store.  Next, a T station parking lot.  WONDERLAND.  Blue line.  Okay, so I can go to the grocery store, make sure everyone gets something to eat.  We can drive to the T station parking lot, sit in the car and eat, then go to the show.  Wonderland is in Revere, and it's only slightly sketchy.  With six kids in tow, I should have parked the bus back at the Porter Square T station lot with the huge Stop n' Shop but too little too late.

So the kids and I eat dinner.  We leave the bus and take the T to Kenmore.  We're late for the show but it's really only just getting started.  Then, I look around and see kids with nose rings, full sleeve tattoos, and neon mohawks.  I felt like the oldest person in the place.  I only think to myself, 'wow, if it was only five years ago, I would have been these kids.'  But, I'm an adult in a cashmere sweater holding all the kids' coats standing next to a dad holding his kids' coats.  The dad and I look at each other and give one another a nod.  That was my initiation into adulthood.  Not only maneuvering children that weren't my own in an Adventures in Babysitting moment (minus the gang fight and garage thugs).

So as summer ends, so does our youth.  We enter the fall months and school starts.  Another year has begun and your once cute toddler is now learning multiplication or geography.  Young ladies and sirs go off to colleges and universities.  August marks a time when almost every car on the highway is from a different state and packed sky high with dorm gear.  It's an exciting time, the end of summer.  But it leaves room for doubt and hesitance.  All of us are unsure of our next steps.  Like me, many people probably feel a mixture of pangs at leaving memories of beach days and road trips behind.  What's left of your amazing vacation in India or France are your photos, both in your mind and on your camera.  We enter the fall as stronger, well seasoned veterans of adventure and challenge.  Whatever trials and tribulations happened during the summer are now notches on your belt of experience.

So with that being said, I present to you a playlist for the end of summer.  25 songs that will serenade and soothe your transition.  Summer isn't quite over yet.  But, before we know it, Halloween candy will be in your neighborhood store and leaves will begin changing colors and then fall to the ground.

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1) 'For All my Friends in Spring, For All my Friends in Fall'- The Loom


2) 'April Come She Will'- Trapper's Cabin (A) note: Tracy Grammer has another great version-original by Simon and Garfunkel (B)

A

B

3) 'Next Summer'- Choir of Young Believers  

4) 'Summer Rain'- Anna Ternheim

5) 'Indian Summer'- The Doors

6) 'Nobody'- J.K. and Co.

7)  'Wild Horses'- The Sundays (A)- original by The Rolling Stones (B)

A

B

8) 'Change of Time'- Josh Ritter

9) 'Landslide'- Smashing Pumpkins (A) original by Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac (B)
          

A

B

10) 'Dust in the Wind'- Daughter Darling (A)- original by Kansas (B)

A

Below is someone's home movie from 1977 set to 'Dust in the Wind' by Kansas.  I liked it way better than the actual Kansas video (which is super cheesy).  Sorry, Kansas!  Great song, lame video!

B

11) 'You Were Never There'- Diego Garcia

  

12) 'Call To Be'- Dana Buoy

 

13) 'Dull to Pause'- Junior Boys

14) 'Radio'- Lana Del Rey

15) 'Indian Summer'- Luna-original by Beat Happening (I personally prefer the Luna version)

 16) 'Push and Pull'- Nikki Costa                                    

                                   

 17) 'All the Tired Horses'-  Bob Dylan (The Narrator also has a great version)

                                                             

18) 'The Secret Life of Letters'- Scissor Sisters                                           

                                     

 19) 'Nothing'- Young Man

                                    

 20) 'Have you Forgotten'- Red House Painters

                                    

21) 'Sweet Memory'- The Tindersticks                                    

22) 'Clocks'- Coldplay

                                   

                                   

23) 'Winds of Change'- Alexa Whipple (A)- original by The Scorpions (B)                                  A

                                                                B

 24) 'Who Wants to Live Forever'- Queen (Breaking Benjamin has a pretty decent version too though it doesn't trump the original)

                                    A

  

                                    B

25) 'Last Summer Days'- Archer Prewitt

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I did not put the songs in any particular order as I usually do.  I leave it up to the reader.  You can download them in Itunes or make your own playlist CD mix built from mine.  It's up to you.  So go unpack your dorm room or set up your classroom.  Whatever it is you're getting ready for, now you have some tunes to ease you into that next transition.

Happy end of summer!

Cheers,

~R~