Mamma Monster!

Lady Gaga from the MTV Video Music Awards Sept 2009

That's the first time I saw Lady GaGa, and was both horrified and intrigued. Who is this woman wearing lingerie, playing piano, and dangling from the ceiling? Is she on drugs? Is she insane? WHO IS SHE?!

So I cannot write about eccentric and strange without commenting on Lady GaGa herself. Her songs, and then corresponding videos get more strange imagery and contain more head scratching fascination than any episode of Jerry Springer or American Idol auditions (remember the guy in the home-made Transformers costume?) Lady GaGa may be mad and a little bit genius; people hate and love her. One thing's for sure is that she is here to stay. She is to today's generation of youth what Madonna was for the 80's and Brittney Spears was for the 90's. However, one caveat: Lady GaGa not only makes catchy music that people shake their tush to in the grocery store, but she has a fan base that helps create and keep her image going.

She has a costume team who she calls her 'little monsters' (I think she calls her fans this as well, though I'm sure that's supposed to be endearing.) How else could she contrive these costumes where she resembles a slaughterhouse (her infamous meat dress), disco ball, or bubbles. Her name is even more interesting. It comes from a Queen song (did you know that), 'Radio Ga Ga' from 1984. Queen's front man, Freddie Mercury is also known for his theatrical antics, as is another of GaGa's idols, David Bowie.

She says this on the bio page of her own website:
“I always loved rock and pop and theater. When I discovered Queen and David Bowie is when it really came together for me and I realized I could do all three...I look at those artists as icons in art. It’s not just about the music. It’s about the performance, the attitude, the look; it’s everything. And, that is where I live as an artist and that is what I want to accomplish.” (http://www.ladygaga.com/bio/)

Lady GaGa was born in New York as Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta; yes, she's Italian. She learned how to play piano by ear at the age of 4, and by age 13 she began writing her own music. At 17, she got in early admission to Tisch School of the Arts (one of 20) and had her first album out by age 20. She attended Convent of the Sacred Heart School, a girl's private school in Manhattan (where the Hilton sisters and Lady Gaga's own sister all attended). (http://www.ladygaga.com/bio/) I like to joke that when I'm out on the town in NYC, I always call up my buddy Stefani G to see what she's up to.  I even think there should be apparel and bracelets that say WWSGD (What Would STefani Germanotta Do?).  Or, maybe what wouldn't she do? 

Apparently, Lady Ga Ga caused quite a stir in 2010 at her sister's graduation by attracting 'papa-papa-razzi'. They were all honed in on what she was wearing. It was the usual eccentric wear, a black veil and triangular conical shaped rice paddy hat (dǒu lì) with white sheer, lace pants and a sheer looking top. Is anyone surprised? The woman dines at expensive restaurants in her lingerie (not that it's a bad thing!)

Her song, 'Paparazzi' (which you watched above, is an MTV VMA performance from 2009) is certainly bizarre and the video is even more baffling.

 Lady Gaga video for 'Paparazzi' (2009)

Here's what Lady Ga Ga said about this song:
“'Paparazzi' might come off as a love song to cameras, and in all honestly, Gaga jokes “on one level it IS about wooing the paparazzi and wanting fame. But, it’s not to be taken completely seriously. It’s about everyone’s obsession with that idea. But, it’s also about wanting a guy to love you and the struggle of whether you can have success or love or both.”

If you don't think 'Paparazzi' is strange, check out the video for 'Bad Romance'.  It isn't only the music and corresponding videos that are outlandish, however.  Lady Gaga's clothes have perhaps become the more well-known iconic stamp on pop culture.  Many of her wild styles were designed by the late Alexander McQueen whose work was showcased in a special exhibit at the MET in 2011.  McQueen was known for his outlandish and otherworldly designs and at his death in February 2010, Lady Gaga paid a tribute to him at the Brit Awards.  If you look at McQueen's art, you can see the connection to Lady G.  Like McQueen, Gaga's clothes are just an extension of her art. It has become her staple signature on the world.  Alexander McQueen's website: www.alexandermcqueen.com

Video for 'Bad Romance' 

 Alexander McQueen's 2006/2007 'Ready to Wear' Collection in Paris

 

Another interesting thought is to ponder what Lady Ga Ga's clothing line would look like, if she had one. She has been talking about doing this since early 2009, and not that I would be aware of it, but I don't think it's happened yet. When we see mall rat teeny boppers and cougar-esque moms donning the Ga Ga 'look' then we might curse our creation; because, as you know the fans make the 'fame monster' a success in the first place. Other female pop-stars already are following suit and paying attention. Fergie wore a dress made out of Legos to the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards (so she is aware that the kids think the Ga Ga inspired look is hot right now). I can imagine it now, teen girls of the future will be buying clothes at Home Depot rather than Forever 21!

Lady GaGa has been everywhere, gracing many magazine covers (Rolling Stone, Elle) and her music was the them of the hit show 'Glee'. When will she stop? Will she stop? Will she just run for president? (gee, I hope not!) Maybe she'll be Sarah Palin's running mate! Last time I checked, though, Palin is not such a big supporter of gay marriage or gays in the military. I wonder what Sarah Palin and Lady Ga Ga would say to one another in an interview? I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

Despite your love or hate for the new reining queen of pop, Lady Ga Ga has made her mark and just when her antics seem to be completely over the top and limitless, she does something to top that. How far is too far? I'd like to see her wear one of those transformers costumes that the guy on 'American Idol' created.  By the way, Drew Beaumier (the contestant) sang 'Born to be Wild' by Steppenwolf though he should have been singing 'Born this Way' by Lady Gaga!

The late, great Freddie Mercury once said, "I won't be a rock star. I'll be a legend." Well, that is definitely true for him and Queen. Brian May and Ben Elton wrote a rock opera (I refuse to call it a musical) called 'We Will Rock You' which made its debut in 2002 at the Dominion Theatre in London. I had the very lucky chance to see it during its first year, and now its been running for 8 years already (which is theater years is like 20 regular years), so it's friggin' old! The whole entire show is set to Queen music, and is set in the future, where making your own musical self-expression is outlawed. All music is manufactured and everyone listens to bubble gum mindless pop. People aren't allowed to play guitars or form jam bands. It is VERBOTEN! Pretty dull, right? Well the hero tries to save musical freedom for kids everywhere. It's outlandish and insane, just like Queen's music (which is why it's fan fucking tastic!)

It is no wonder why Lady Ga Ga named herself after a Queen song (whose video shows clips and is in the style of the 1920's film 'Metropolis'). Freddie Mercury was theatrical and eccentric with his performances, and his fans loved and still adore him for that fact. Bowie and Freddie would be proud that they've handed the rock-art shock genre onto this seemingly superhuman pop phenomenon. Only time will tell whether her fate will be more like the bold and the beautiful immortalized in music history or the washed up laughing stock joke found on every cover of tabloid trash media.

Trailer for Metropolis (1927)

"So don't become some background noise
A backdrop for the girls and boys
Who just don't know or just don't care
And just complain when you're not there
You had your time, you had the power
You've yet to have your finest hour"
-From Queen's 'Radio Ga Ga' off of the 1984 album, 'The Works'

 Video for 'Radio Ga Ga' by Queen

Lady Gaga is releasing her next album, 'Artpop' next month.  The first single, Applause, already has a video that was released.  The album is rumored to be bigger than anything she's done in the past.  Considering that this is only her third album, it is quite extraordinary that she's reached the same status as Madonna, Cher, and Michael Jackson.  Some would argue she has surpassed super rock star status and has leaped into rock goddess status. 

Projections of Lady Gaga's 'Artpop'

Video for 'Applause' 

What I respect about Lady Gaga is the fact that she's not an airhead.  She is a strong female who has even stronger convictions and lets everyone know about them.  She is an activist and is heavily involved in social justice work, especially around LGBTQ issues and gay marriage.  The gay community makes up a large portion of her fan base, so it is not surprising that she takes up these causes.  However, she could just be another rich bitch but she's not.  She has given money toward natural disaster relief with the Red Cross.  She has helped when the earthquake hit Haiti and when Hurricane Sandy hit NYC and NJ.  She even wore a meat dress to the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards to make a statement about fighting for your beliefs and for the rights of others.  She used the opportunity to soapbox about 'don't ask, don't tell' which in my eyes is noble.  She uses her power and celebrity status to be a living, breathing activist.  And I have tremendous respect for that.  She also encourages fans, young and old, alike to be themselves and embrace being strange.  So, as with my post about Steven Tyler, I have to advocate for Lady G because she's so damn crazy, she's bloody clever.

The meaning of the meat dress

I go back and forth saying that Lady Gaga is tacky and trashy but also bizarre and brilliant.  Say what you want about her but I know that society will remember he even when humanity goes extinct.  Hell, I'm sure she's built a bunker so that when the earth is purged of humans, she can crawl out of a pod, do a little shimmy and meat up with the aliens who come to inhabit this planet.  Then she'll embrace them as her 'little monsters' and give them a concert on top of the skeletal remains of Lincoln Center.  That's totally gaga!

Gogo for Gaga,

~R~

Grezgrunge's 90's Nostalgia

 Intro to the 90's:

Grezgrunge (greasy grunge) was my AOL Instant Messenger screen name because I was a greasy greasy grunge boy.  I used to put Vasoline in my hair to make it extra greasy, no joke.  I would wear cut-off flannel shirts and wallet chains.  I had black steel toe combat boots that I wore to every grunge and metal show.  I had a spiked wristband and my wardrobe was mostly black.  Seriously, like 98% of my t-shirts were black.  I had black towels even.  I did not like color.  So I had a lot of earth tones, if I had to stray from black, like forest green, rust, and brown.  I was thinking about the other day how my current wardrobe reflects the opposite.  I wear lots of color, and though I still have a defined style, I stay away from black (as a rebellion to my teenage years).

In age of roller blades, floppy discs, AOL, Umbro shorts, flannel, baby doll dresses, The Gap, MTV spring break and The Real World (debut), Daria, Beevis and Butthead, Friends, Seinfeld, Pauly Shore, Alicia Silverstone, Crystal Pepsi, Surge, Doritos, and blue jean (well, everything) it was a doozy.  If you didn't grow up in the nineties, like I did, then you'd look at fads and pop-culture and just be a little confused.  The 90's were cool in a very dorky way.  They borrowed from other decades yet made a style all its own.

Here are some pics I found that display some trends from the nineties:

 


  

The style, society, and pop-culture of the 90's: 

When I think back to things that were in style then or watch movies from that time period, I just scratch my head.  Really, that was cool?  For women, a floral dress/blouse with bell bottom sleeves, cut off jean shorts or leggings underneath, black combat boots, and a black lace choker with a pageboy haircut and maroon lipstick.  Or, for guys, a flannel tied around the waist with a 'wife beater', blue jeans torn at the knee (not bought that way), hiking boots, and shoulder length hair with the accent of one earring (left for straight, right for gay).  Seriously, the styles were really retched!  You could go out wearing a jean jacket, jean shirt, jean pants, and a jean scrunchy or ball cap and you'd be in vogue with the latest trends.  Oh, scrunchies!!  At the time, a popular hairstyle was to shave the underside of your head and leave one side long and asymmetrical (the hipsters weren't the first).  In the early, 90's a lot of women still had their mall hair, intact from the end of the 80's.  But it was a little bit of a gender bender era.  Guys and girls swapped their looks.  Beware, these looks are making a comeback!  Eeek!

The gender swapping was fascinating though.  Women tried on short hairstyles and men tried to grow their hair out.  I remember going to the mall at the time, and looking at a couple thinking the guy was the girl and vise versa.  It was an age where women were beginning to explore their feminism in a way not really sought out before.  Women were not accepting staying at home as homemakers, and en masse, many more women became full-time working gals.  And this was in careers like law, medicine, government, and business.  The 80's saw the advent of the glass ceiling that women shattered.  However, I would argue that it was not until the 90's that we really began to see career women as we see them today.  Women were no longer confined to working certain kind of jobs.  They could be anything.  For my own mother, she went back to law school and graduated in the early 90's, a feat I am very proud of her for accomplishing.  This would have been unheard of in other eras.  Career women were few, and women choosing a different, more powerful career later in life was not common at all.

Political correctness was the vogue terminology.  The movie, PCU is the epitome of seizing the sarcasm surrounding political correctness.  Everyone wanted to be polite and honest without being racist or bigoted.  Race was a major societal issue, though.  What made this so were events like the race riots of the early 90's.  These riots were the result of the Rodney King incident in LA, where King (a black man) was beaten by white police officers for no reason other than sheer brutality and bigotry.  Then there was the trial of one, O.J. Simpson for the convicted murder of his ex-wife, Nicole, and her boyfriend, Ron Goldman.  There was also the rift between the African American and Jewish communities of Crown Heights, a result of a Guyanese child being hit and killed by an elderly Jewish driver.  Many young black youths were getting in touch with Afro-centrism and in exploring racial identity, many questions concerning belonging and our nation's history with slavery could no longer be ignored.

There was also an exploration of sexuality, as there was an increased awareness of HIV and AIDS.  Freddie Mercury, of Queen, became one of the first victims of the virus to have a high profile status.  He was public with the fact that he had HIV/AIDS and did not try to hide it.  He did not hide his sexuality either.  See, this was pre-Lady GaGa so many gay celebrities and who's who stayed in the closet.  It was this and the onset of MTV's the Real World with individuals like Pedro Zamora, an AIDS activist who also helped to raise awareness of the disease and bring knowledge into homes nationwide while being on the third season of the show while it was filmed in San Francisco.  Zamora really became the face of AIDS and brought the disease to pop-culture and media.  The nature of public reaction and the climate toward AIDS vastly changed because of people like Pedro and Freddie.

AIDS was no longer mysterious and scary.  People were learning the facts about HIV/AIDS and beginning to take preventative measures.  Also, the gay and lesbian movement was gaining a foothold, as sexuality was more open.  It was much more common to see same sex couples holding hands and showing public affection (though the LGBTQ movement still had a far way to go).  The effects, however, are still being seen today.  Shows like 'Ellen', 'Will & Grace', 'Friends', and even 'Roseanne' portrayed gay characters.  Also the idea of being 'bisexual' was blossoming in the 90's and the idea that your girlfriend could date women while also dating you became much more novel and accepted.  I even remember a movie 'Threesome' where Lara Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin, and Josh Charles had a sultry, well threesome.  Then, there was 'Chasing Amy', all about a lesbian, Joey Lauren Adams, who also seemed to like boys.  Hey, it was the 90's!!

Along with the new found freedom of sexuality came the exploration of 'alternative' lifestyles.  Such things as S&M and vegetarianism weren't viewed as being so weird anymore.  Madonna came out with her 'Sex' book and went through a phase of hitchhiking naked.  Dennis Rodman wore a wedding dress to promote his auto-biography; he became synonymous with 'freak' at donning green or leopard print hair and multiple piercings.  He was even rumored to be having a three-way with Madonna herself.  Drew Barrymore stood up on David Letterman's desk and showed her breasts.  It was an age of exhibitionism and exploration.  Kids were piercing their noses and their belly buttons; you didn't just pierce your ears to make a statement anymore.  You had to pierce your nose and dangle a chain from your nose to your ear to even be considered in the running for 'cool'.  Even guys were piercing.  Tattoos were now just getting cool.  So, piercing and tattoo parlors were popping up even in Midwestern towns.  You could see kids with blue hair and black leather pants walking around Des Moines or Kansas City.  Being punky and goth weren't just urban phenomenons.

The 90's were weird though.  Arguably, weirder than the 80's.  George HW Bush, then Bill Clinton were our fearless American leaders.  Strange news events like the Nancy Kerrigan knee cap bashing incident of the 1994 Olympics, where former teammate and competitor, Tonya Harding was found guilt of being behind the entire incident (she wanted the gold).  What also became headlines was the penis chopping incident by one Lorena Bobbitt, when she cut her husband's, John Wayne Bobbitt's penis off because of his repeated abuse. Though, she said it was when he tried to rape her which pushed her to the edge.  Also included the headlines from the time was the murder of the Mendendez brothers' (named Lyle and Erik) parents.  They shot them due to years of abuse, both sexual and physical, at least according to the brothers.  However, because the brothers were flaunting their late parents' wealth days after their demise proved that, perhaps, they were after money.  All of the above incidents, by the way, are seen in sarcastic jest in the Weird Al Yankovic video for 'Headline News' (a parody of Crash Test Dummies's song 'Mmmm').  Yes, it was a very strange time indeed.

Weird Al Yankovic- 'Headline News' (1994)



  The tunes of the 90s:

However, before I leave you, I want to provide a sample mix of sounds from the times.  I think the songs of the 1990's speak for themselves.  Have a listen, and then maybe you'll understand what it was like growing up in the 'dazed and confused' nineties.

40) Boyz II Men- 'End of the Road' (1992)


39) Spin Doctors- 'Little Miss Can't Be Wrong' (1991)


38) Gin Blossoms- 'Hey Jealousy' (1993)


37) Arrested Development- 'Mr. Wendal' (1992)


36) Portishead- 'Sour Times' (1994)


35) Nada Surf- 'Popular' (1996)


34) Tracy Bonham- 'Mother, Mother' (1996)


33) Deadeye Dick- 'New Age Girl' (1994)


32) Snow- 'Informer' (1992)


31) Mazzy Star- 'Fade Into You' (1994)


30) Dinosaur Jr.- 'Feel the Pain' (1994)


29) Alanis Morissette- 'You Oughta Know' (1995)


28) Tag Team-'Whoomp! (There It Is)' (1993)


27) Nate Dogg and Warren G- 'Regulate' (1994)


26) Skee-Lo- 'I Wish' (1996) 



25) Coolio- 'Fantastic Voyage' (1994)


24) Crash Test Dummies- 'Mmmmm' (1993)


23) Jill Sobule- 'I Kissed a Girl' (1995)


22) The Sundays- Wild Horses' (1994)


21) Hootie and the Blowfish- 'Let Her Cry' (1994)


20)   Stabbing Westward- 'Shame' (1996)


19) Poe- 'Angry Johnny' (1995)
 

18) Veruca Salt- 'Seether' (1994)


17) Whale- 'Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe' (1994)



16) Hum- 'Stars' (1995)


15) The Rentals- 'Friends of P' (1995)


 14) Ace of Base- 'Don't Turn Around' (1994)



13) Urban Cookie Collective- 'Ive Got the Key' (1996)
 

12) Rozalla- 'Everybody's Free' (1992)


11) Culture Beat- 'Mr. Vain' (1993)


10) James- 'Laid' (1993)


9) Harvey Danger- 'Flagpole Sitta' (1997)


8) Lucas- 'Lucas with the Lid Off' (1994)


7) Us3- 'Flip Fantasia' (1993)


6) Milla Jovovich- 'Gentlemen Who Fell' (1994)


5) Salt n' Peppa- 'Shoop' (1993) 


4) En Vogue- 'Free Your Mind' (1992)


3) UB40- 'Can't Help Falling in Love With You' (1993)


2) 4 Non-Blondes- 'What's Up' (1992)


1) Stereo Mc's- 'Connected' (1992)


Rrap-up to the 90's:

There you have it, my mix for the illustrious nineties.  I know that I left off bands like Oasis, Green Day, The Offspring, No Doubt, Nirvana, Hole, Foo Fighters, Presidents of the USA, Radiohead, and Dave Matthews Band.  I wanted to try and include first, variety and also more obscure songs from the era.  Of course, Salt n' Peppa was not obscure, but all of the above tracks define what the nineties meant to me.  I remember these songs, and a flood of memories come back as I listen to each one.

It's funny because in a conversation I was having today, I realized that I grew up listening to great music.  I have always wished to live in the sixties, namely 1965-1975 so I could have been around that scene.  What I never realized is that the music of the nineties was roller skating parties (East Side, West Side) and rollerblading in my driveway.  The music was middle school and high school.  I was coming into my own and finding out who I was as a person.  This music was fantastic and, unfortunately, I was not old enough to attend concerts until the later part of the nineties.  I missed out on some good shows, I'm sure.  However, I still got to see many great bands and festivals (including Warp Tour and Ozzfest).

I will not soon forget the nineties and movies like 'Clueless', 'Reality Bites', 'Dazed and Confused', 'Billy Madison', 'Empire Records', 'The Craft', 'Mallrats', 'Clerks', 'Chasing Amy', or 'Dogma' (I watched a lot of Kevin Smith).  Shows like 'Seinfeld', 'Friends', 'Saved by the Bell', 'Beverly Hills 90210', 'My So Called Life', 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air', 'Full House', 'Roseanne', 'Family Matters', and 'The Cosby Show' were and still are favorites; they have left lasting impressions on our pop-culture (there was even a Steve Urkel breakfast cereal).  If you don't know who Steve Urkel (did I do that?) is, then look it up!  The Ninja Turtles (go, ninja go) were the rage and cartoons like: Animaniacs, Tiny Toon Adventures, Tailspin, Rescue Rangers, Darkwing Duck and Ren & Stimpy were favorites of every kid.

I am glad I came of age in this strange time.  The nineties were recovering from the eighties and were not quite as technologically advanced as today's era.  Cell phones still came in large cases and were referred to as 'car phones'.  My first cellular phone did not even fit into my pocket.  There were no i devices (I tunes, I phones, I pads, etc).  The Internet was brand new and Google, though in existence, was not the tour de force it is nowadays.  Youtube, Gmail, Facebook, Instagram, and any app for that matter, did not exist.  If you listened to music, it was on a portable CD walkman.  Cassette tapes and video cassettes were still sold.  I remember when DVD's came out, and I thought that they wouldn't last.  Same thing with MP3's.  Now, everything is digital.  So, listening to the songs of the nineties take me back to a simpler time.  A time when we were a little more naive but also a little more connected to each other.

Talk to the hand (cuz the face don't understand),

~R~

Ahhh, Zombies!!

   

“I also have always liked the monster within idea. I like the zombies being us. Zombies are the blue-collar monsters.”

"I've gotten letters, but mostly from Bible-belt types who say, you must be Satan! They come right out and call me Satan and hope that I'm damned to hell.”

"I always thought of the zombies as being about revolution, one generation consuming the next."  -George A. Romero (Father of the modern zombie)
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For some reason, America, and arguably much of Western culture has become obsessed with zombies.  They are everywhere nowadays, in books, movies, video games, apps, tv shows, and on countless articles of apparel and accessories.  There are zombies everywhere: zombie pub crawls, zombie runs, zombie conventions, zombie proms, zombie burlesque, and even real zombie clubs (and this is worldwide, not just within the good ole US of A).  I mean, I even bought an Obama vs. Zombies t-shirt off of Fab.com (that I ended up selling on Ebay).  Why?  I'll get to that in a bit.  I, however, am just as obsessed as anyone else.  Okay, I admit I'm more obsessed than most people.  I constantly think about where I would go and what I would bring in the event of a zombie pandemic.  I must say, though, that I've always been obsessed with the notion of a hoard of undead.  And I don't discriminate; I am fascinated by both zombies and vampires (However the former takes up most of my time).  

I have read Max Brook's books World War Z and The Zombie Survival Guide.  I have watched Zombieland, 28 Days Later, 28 Months Later, Shaun of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead , Dawn of the Dead (both versions), Return of the Living Dead and countless other lesser known, lower budget zombie flicks (including Trauma's own Redneck Zombies).  I've seen I Walked with a Zombie from the 1940's, though that is more about voodoo zombies than what we understand as 'zombies'.  For our modern understanding of the zombie we have, of course, George A. Romero of the 'Living Dead' franchise to thank and also Michael Jackson for his Thriller video in 1983.  Without them, zombies wouldn't have eaten their way so pervasively into pop culture.  

I just got finished reading Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies by Matt Mogk.  By the way, Mogk is founder and head of the Zombie Research Society (ZRS) which you can join and start chapters of. He makes a good point, though, that we need to be discussing issues related to a zombie catastrophe now because when it happens, it will be too late.  

To say I'm impressed with the book is an understatement.  When my wife came into the room while I was reading it, and wanted me to either a) burn it or b) read it in my closet so it would be out of sight.  I, however, told her that the book was non-fiction and was unlike the gore I usually go for.  She just was 'glad it wasn't about people eating each other's guts' is all she commented.  I merited my reading the book by telling her that there was a lot of science and sociology in the book, which is true.  

By the way,  I got rid of the Obama vs. Zombies t-shirt.  I would have barred  from EVER wearing it around my apartment.  In fact, I even had to get both my copies of Max Brook's books out of the apartment for fear she'd throw them in the garbage can.  She REALLY hates and despises my obsession with zombies.  However, back to Mogk's book.  It's worth a read for any zombie enthusiast whether you're a novice or expert zombie connoisseur. 

I don't consider myself an expert at all

In a world between vampires and zombies, who would win?  It's obvious!  

Mogk's book, unlike other zombie guides, is very realistic.  For once, I actually stop to think that I'd be screwed in the event of a zombie apocalypse.  He actually asks some tough questions and demands you to ask yourself what you would do, as a survivalist.  Yea, I'd be screwed.  Water is the most important item to have?  I might have to eat rats and squirrels?  I would have to defend myself from human vandals and thieves along with the zombies?  Damn, I'm screwed!  I, however, like this book because it isn't some wishy-washy oh zombies will come and eat you.  It examines our culture's fascination with zombies and explores the plausibility of a zombie virus and what its ensuing breakdown of society would mean for us, as human beings.  

First of all, it is noble that Mogk tackles the question of our modern concept of zombie.  Many people conflate the Voodoo zombie with our current notion.  I agree with Mogk in that the two couldn't be more different than night and day.  The Voodoo zombie a person who was given drugs and herbs to fade away, nearly die, go into a coma-like state, and then wake up to be controlled by said necromancer/sorcerer.  In Haiti, people really do fear witch doctors who will steal their hair or a valuable possession in order to gain control over that person's mind and body.  I took a class on Voodoo in college along with other Caribbean religions, and Voodoo is very scary, though not as much as Santeria. 

 Oh and also, Voodoo has NOTHING at all to do with Voodoo dolls.  That's also more of an invention of our Western culture's notion of the Haitian religion.  In a nutshell, Voodoo is a mixture of African tribal religious customs with Catholicism.  In Voodoo, the gods are called loi and have counterparts with Madonna and other Saints (St. Patrick, etc).  Within the ritual, people will take on the persona of the loi and offer him/her specific food and light specific colored candles (each that correspond to that specific loi).  

Back to zombies.  So, frighteningly, there are many things in modern human biology that could result in a zombie apocalypse.  In Mock's book he lists many things: prions and other bacteria/viruses.  A prion, by the way is a protein that mutates and attacks a human's brain very aggressively.  Certain prions can also get transmitted through bodily fluids and with mutation possibility could spell danger.  Scared?  Mock also talks about the possibility of the flu mutating with rabies (something I scare my wife with all the time and am banned from talking about in our household).  Seriously though, if the flu mutate together with rabies, then we'd all be royally fucked.  

What I also like about this book is the fact that, throughout, I ask myself, literally, what I would do?  Would I leave my family behind?  If I leave the city with a person/people, then who?  Who would I trust?  How would I get my medication?  What happens when cell phones, computers, and other technological advances become obsolete?  What will I do without my Iphone and its apps?  God, help me!  What happens if my blood sugar goes low while I'm being stalked by the walking dead?  Or would I just stay locked in my apartment in Brooklyn?  Cities are the WORST place to be, but maybe there's a possibility to survive especially if the majority of people book it out of dodge.

I know where I'd go.  I would try to get to either New Mexico, Wyoming, or an island off of Washington (state), in that order.  New Mexico is hot, but it is very dry and there are very isolated and secluded areas where there is very little human activity.  Wyoming for the same reason minus the weather.  Both NM and WY have very different climates from each other but they are not as dense population wise and have mountains (which form nice natural barriers against the swarming undead).  Then an island off of Washington because though cold and rainy, an island would be ideal.  Unless, that is, that zombies can walk on the bottom of the ocean (as they can in World War Z). 

I also get to thinking about what kind of zombie I would prefer in my version of Z-day.  Though I know I wouldn't have a choice.  I think I would want the dead to stay dead, meaning that cemeteries are clear of any walking corpses, unlike Night of the Living Dead.  I would prefer a version similar to Zombieland, where the people are still 'alive'.  They are shells of themselves in the sense that they are taken over by the deadly virus/disease, but I prefer that to actually  being dead and reanimated.  The latter REALLY creeps me out.  Because then, if the dead actually do rise, as in graveyard zombies, then it would be an uncontrollable situation.  If people just get sick and turn rabid, though nightmarish is not as hellish as the dead rising from their coffins.  

I literally would not go into graveyards when I was younger (unless I was at a funeral) because I would get scared a hand, from a grave, would grab my foot.   No joke.  I was scared to go into graveyards because of zombies.  I had (and still have) zombie phobia but that also feeds into my obsession and fascination.  If the dead were to walk (in whatever sense) then I'd sure as hell not want to become one of them.  Unlike George Romero who is quoted as saying that he'd love to wake up and have a swarm of zombies in his living room because then he'd become 'one of them', a zombie, I would run for my life.  

By the way, fear of zombies is known as kinemortophobia; it's a real definition!  Sanguivoriphobia is fear of vampires.  

Interestingly, I would rather want to become a vampire.  And I'm also afraid of vampires, but I have more of an interest in living forever, though pale, with my body intact.  And yes, I'd drink blood of young virgins but at least I'd get to be a cool vampire like those in Anne Rice and Stephanie Myers books.  Right?  Not a gross one like Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Actually, I was surprised to find out that the vampire and zombie are very closely connected.  Matt Mogk opens his book by discussing this phenomenon.  George A. Romero got the idea for his movies from the 1953 I Am Legend book by Richard Matheson.  Matheson even thought Romero was ripping off his own idea.  The modern zombie as we know it really didn't exist before the 1968 Night of the Living Dead.  

I, for one, am excited to see what comes out in literature and film in the upcoming months and years.  I know there's a film version of Brook's World War Z but from the previews, it doesn't mesh well with how I imagined the book.  There's a great scene in the book, one of my favorites, actually, where a swarm of zombies comes down I-80 through Nebraska (near Lincoln), right  along a stretch of rode I've been on.  So I can visualize the scene in my head of the piled up cars and running, frightened people (many of whom are probably very overweight).  

I just hope that if Z-Day does come, then I'll not be in NYC at all.  Or any city for that matter.  Hopefully, I'll have some warning dreams ahead of time.  And yes, I have had dreams of that nature, about zombies (also vampires).  I've also dreamt about floods and fires.  Sometimes I'm wandering alone, sometimes I'm with a family member (realizing that all my other family is deceased).  So, if I have to go it alone, I think psychically I'm ready though psychologically I'm not at all.  

I, however am the type of person who argues with people over the best type of weapon: machete and the best place to seek shelter (urban): drug store with sliding/locking gate and only a small handful of other doors or (suburban/rural): two to three story house with attic and accessible roof.  If in a house, though, I'd prefer to have the foldable/collapsible armor that many Israelis have over their windows.  Am I crazy to even be considering this stuff?  I'm also the type of person to survey places when I'm there.  'Oh no, too many stairs'.  'Oh those stairs could be broken away easily and the elevators suspended.  There's some food on the third floor.  Oh but too many people would swarm here.'  Yes, things like that run through my head.

So I know I'm DEFINITELY not ready for Z-Day today or tomorrow.  But with some time, I'll continue to hone my survival skills and be ready.  If not for Z-Day then whatever comes our way.  I  know one thing is for sure.  I will learn how to ride a bike, and I will bike my way out of the city as if my life depended on it (and it might).  

Okay, now with these warm fuzzy thoughts running through my head, I'm gonna get some shuteye and hope I don't wake up to a street filled with the frothing, decaying corpses of people who used to be my NY neighbors. 

Good night!  Sleep tight!

Kinemortophobically yours,

~R~

*By the way, if you like zombies, I have a short story on zombies in a post called 'Zombie Jesus'.  Check it out!