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Showing posts with label dysfunction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dysfunction. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

America the Beautiful






Sometimes I wake up in the morning and ask myself if the reality I am living in today is the same exact reality I was living in yesterday.  I truly ask myself if our society is getting crazier by the minute or it it has always been this way.  Perhaps the transition to full fledged adulthood is realizing that no matter how hard you try to stay out of the mess, you are still a part of it.  As children, the lucky are able to get protected by the evil and darkness in the world.  But who is there to protect us when the bubble has been popped and you are out there on the streets to fend for yourself?  It's man against shark; only the manipulative survive.

Lately it seems that my dreams have more sanity and make a whole of a lot more sense than what I observe in reality.  Though I try to find the goodness in everything, it is hard to ignore the writing on the wall.  Let's examine American society.  Many Americans are still out of work and are still hurting from the economic recession.  Despite the SOTU last night and President Obama promising that those people out of work will find jobs and will soon be able to support their families again, the light at the end of the tunnel seems very dim.  Note that I am an Obama supporter.  However, you also have to question the intentions of our government, especially when so many of them are out of touch with mainstream America.  Democrats and Republicans alike are in it for themselves.  And when you take a look at Congress, over half of them (Reps and Dems) are millionaires.  Sure, many of them grew up in working class households and saw their parents struggle (take Obama for example); but we have to ask ourselves now more than ever how democratic things really are.

These days it seems everything is all about money.  Every media outlet pretty much is connected to corporations that dictate what they report about and how they tell a story.  If a news source is connected to a particular food company and there is a nasty e coli outbreak, the severity of what's reported depends on the interest of the company.  If the e coli is in broccoli from a competitor, then the reporters might drum up the severity.  However, if the outbreak is in a batch of vegetables from the parent company, the news might not get reported at all.  Have you ever thought about that the news we get trickled down to us is all connected to corporations' deep pockets that may or may not want you to know the whole story.  If a story hurts the image of a corporation and risks a loss of millions, then we get fed lies on top of bullshit (if we're lucky) telling us that whatever problem at hand is not that big a deal.

It is especially scary now that American society has been dumbed down.  Our educational system has become a big bureaucratic factory that churns out children to memorize and recite figures that may not have any consequence to critical thinking.  In the SOTU, President Obama said that we need a nation of thinkers and innovators.  How does testing and measuring up the wazoo achieve this end?  Don't throw the baby out with the bath water; remodel the bathroom, that's all.  We are training kids to learn without actually learning.  We should be training kids to think independently and creatively.  Kids should be taught to think outside the box and color outside the lines.  At the rate we are going, we will have a bunch of robots who do not know how to question and challenge the status quo.  We all know what happens when we teach kids to be compliant and learn without context.  They end up supporting dictatorships and totalitarian governmental regimes.  Is that what we want?

What's worse is that many people do not think anymore.  They read things on the Internet on sites like Twitter and Reddit and accept it as fact.  What happened to looking things up in an Encyclopedia and doing research at the library.  Do not just accept something just because you read it online or are told so in a news report.  Analyze and question.  Read multiple sources.  Look at another site (other than Wikipedia) for basic information.  I admit that I too have become lazier in the digital age.  Why read a book when I can just 'google it'?  And thanks to technology, language has begun to fall apart.  With texting and Facebook, people would rather abbreviate and take short cuts.  Is it too much to ask to at least be grammatically correct when sending an e-mail?  What has happened to language?  What's worse is that there is little separation between informal and formal language.  Soon every child will be speaking in 'text speak'.

What I find most frightening, however, is how saturated our society has become with violence and fear.  It seems to be a mundane occurrence nowadays to hear about school, mall, and movie theater shootings.  'Oh, there's another crazy person who got a gun and shot 14 people dead.'  Or what about this 'knockout game' phenomenon.  Violence has no purpose; it's just violence for the sake of violence. There is no goal of robbing someone of their wallet or shoes, though I'm sure that still happens.  It's violence because what else is there to do?  I feel that we have reached a point where things are turning into Anthony Burgess's 1962 novel, A Clockwork Orange (though the movie is excellent, the book is better).

If you haven't read the novel, do yourself a favor and read it.  It takes place in a future England where all rules and structure have broken down.  Teenagers run rampant in the streets doing drugs and having sex.  They speak a whole new language, 'Nadsat'.  In fact, when reading the book, you need a dictionary of Nadsat handy because words do not mean what they used to.  For instance: clothes are 'pletchkos', friend is 'droog', person is 'veck', and money is 'lolly', 'cutter', or 'pretty polly'.  Adults are in fear to walk the streets, especially at night.  Gangs roam free; the main character, Alex is in such a gang.  They spend their time raping and pillaging all while completely doped out of their minds.  I truly feel that our society is turning into the world Alex inhabits in A Clockwork Orange.  Youth lack the respect for authority.  If children get in trouble at school or get bad grades, it's the teacher's fault.  If a child gets in trouble with the law, it's society's fault.  There is little culpability and personal responsibility any more.  Without the boundaries, guidelines, and rules of authority, society will be ruled by youth who lack self-control and laugh off authoritative discipline.

Add to this the calamity we face with our climate.  By now, if you do not believe in climate change, then you're a moron.  Sorry, but you are.  And know that when I talk about climate change it's not 'global warming' in the sense that everything is getting hotter.  Oh, we're having a severe winter, so much for climate change!  Actually, think of it more like GCV: Global Climate Volatility.  Everything is in extremes.  Some parts of our country will have more rain and consequently more flooding.  Other places will have unprecedented droughts.  And note that flooding and droughts may exist in places where the opposite was once true (ie. places with too much rain previously had none).  And if we look at the country right now, pretty much everywhere is experiencing an awful winter with record low temperatures and tons of snow/ice.  The weekend brought winter to places in the South that have never or hardly ever seen snow/freezing cold.  Climate change means that things are off kilter.  Climate is no longer as predictable and constant as it once was.

This will have effects on many things in our lives like resources and mobility.  I predict that in the near future, we will not be able to travel by airplane or possibly by car because the weather is too unpredictable.  Tornadoes, violent storms, blizzards, and hurricanes are increasing in ferocity and frequency.  Isn't it strange now we hear about 15 full strength tornadoes hitting an area all at once?  When towns/cities/states go through an unprecedented weather/nature event, people run to the store for canned goods and water.  People want gas in their cars and heat/AC in their homes.  The more out of whack things become, the more people are overutilizing these resources and placing a strain on natural supply and demand.  Not to mention that with massive climate upheaval, crops and livestock will become affected as well.  Imagine placing an extremely obese human onto a tiny scale meant for half the weight.  How long before the scale completely breaks?

I don't know what it will take for all of us to stop and listen to what we are doing to ourselves.  We are eating ourselves alive.  We must stop, evaluate, and recalibrate the direction we are moving as a global society.  Unless we are planning to build a space ship and explore the possibility of colonizing other planets (oh wait, that's happening) then we must take care of what we have.  I believe there is still hope to turn this nightmare around and wake ourselves out of this crazy daily existence we call reality.  Things are happening; some of us are waking up and realizing that we're laying face down in a pile of sewage, garbage, and radioactive waste (metaphorically).  I just wonder how many horrors must take place before everyone wakes up and smells the blatantly obvious.

What's the answer, you ask?  Love, compassion, positivity, and unity.

It may sound hippy dippy, but it's true.

Love and Light,

~R~






Thursday, March 1, 2012

Dude, I got a blog...



So I often ask myself, what is the point of having a stupid blog? Everyone and their grandmother has a blog. Literally! At a Passover Seder a couple of years ago, one of my former students and his grandmother talked about their blogging experiences. Not that I'm against older members of our society having blogs, but it seems pointless if it's a multi-generational experience. If senior citizens are filling cyberspace with blogs, then mine really does seem pointless. How can I compete with 'Cats n' Old Bats' or 'Sadie's Sex Tips' or 'How to Organically Clean Your Dentures'. I can't!

I mean, it used to be that if you wanted to write, you went into Journalism or you tried to get published or both. There was an avenue you took, and it was only for serious, SERIOUS writers. Nowadays, everyone thinks he/she is a WRITER! You can just become a 'writer' purely by doing a zine, blog, or other Internet centered activity. Everyone who updates their Facebook or Twitter status every half hour is a 'writer'. It was never this easy, but at the same time because there are so many voices out there, it's harder to shout and become heard. The only voices I can shout louder than are the ones in my own head.

What do I have to do in order to be interesting and unique? First, I have to ask myself the following: Doesn't everyone have a story to tell? Isn't what I have to say clever and distinct? But, what makes mine so different and unique? What defines unique? I start going in thought circles.

I have to think about all the outlandish episodes of my life. I mean, I could talk about all the drugs I did in college (ask me about the time I took toad venom and saw faeries dancing in the woods..go ahead, ask me). Then there's all the traveling I've done (and wish to do). Or, I could talk about my dysfunctional family and the Augusten Burroughs-like drama that ensued in my household growing up. No, my father didn't try to kill my mother. Nor did I have some love affair with a man (or woman) twice my age! Compared to the dysfunctional memoirs out there, my life is pretty normal actually. It's unconventionally conventional!

I haven't killed anyone (yet). I haven't smoked crack (yet). I have never snorted coke off of a prostitute's inner thigh (hrm..food for though). I haven't performed in the circus nor do I aspire to be a Donna Summer drag queen impersonator (not now anyway). I grew up in suburbia, went to a prep school, and majored in English. I have been an English teacher most of my life. YAWWN! Who the hell would want to read about that crap? It's not really a story. What makes a good story? What makes one person's story more fascinating than the next?

I have been told that I always have interesting stories and that crazy shit always happens to me. But I don't want to only write about crazy shit happening. My whole life is just one episode after another of crazy shit. I attract crazy shit like shit does flies. Shit. Flies. That could be a topic worth elaborating on, but I digress.

Back to me. What makes my voice so distinct? I like music. So do millions of other dopes out there. Well, I like a diverse variety of music from jazz to funk to punk to jam bands to indie. I've been to dozens..hundreds of different concerts that vary as much as Jelly Belly flavors. I have been to Ozzfest, Warp Tour, Bonnaroo, and other various festivals. I haven't, however, ever been to Burning Man or a Rainbow Family Gathering (a hippie festival in the woods where people always end up in the hospital for eating bad mushrooms). I've been invited to both, though. That counts for something. Right?

I don't really have a unique fashion sense. My wife tells me I have NO fashion sense. My musical taste isn't that indie, as at least someone has heard of the bands I listen to. I didn't grow up during the 1960's (but I wish I did) and participate in the Civil Rights Movement and Anti-Vietnam Movement. I consider myself an ACTIVIST but I haven't been to a real rally since graduate school. I just find myself too tired to attend those things anymore. I mean, since I've been unemployed since June, I could have done what other English and humanities majors did and go join/camp out at the Occupy Wall Street Movement. I just find camping out and protesting capitalism too cliche. Plus, why go to Occupy Wall Street when I'd miss too many episodes of Antiques Roadshow and History Detectives. See, my life really isn't that interesting!

I guess the real reason I write a blog, or write at all, is to use it as therapy. Writing is therapy. I don't have a therapist, despite my wife telling me that I've needed to go for one for over a year. I have a medical diagnosis of depression and anxiety, and I take meds for it. That nice little oblong blue pill. Mmm..wash it down with some seltzer..ahh! I also have ADD (I don't take anything for that; can't you tell?. But, these are also common problems. Many people have both depression and ADD. I DO need a therapist to help me through my issues. But, for now I use reading and writing to get me through the tough times.

On those days when I don't feel like getting out of bed, having a blog makes me get up and find something worth writing and ranting about. I get to silence the rapidly running newsreel in my head. For once, I get to just let words pour out in front of me and see where it leads. For once, I have to relinquish my control to a higher authority, my subconscious mind. Yes, I am in control of my thoughts, but at the same time I don't control where my own mind and thoughts take me.

So back to the original question: why write a blog when there are thousands of others just like this one out there? I guess like everyone else, I like to think that my perspective is unique and important. My voice is supposed to be heard by the masses. People want to hear what I have to say. I've always been told that my views are unabashedly candid and blunt. I don't hide what I'm really thinking and I'm usually honest and upfront. I have strong convictions and opinions on just about everything. If I disagree with something, you'll know. If something pisses me off, you'll know. If some hack has no talent and pretends to be the next great artiste, then I'll say 'what a fucking no-talent hack!'

I just want to be heard and noticed. My wife says it is because I come from a family where my father was always aloof and emotionally unavailable. My mother is narcissistic and emotionally unbalanced (aka CRAZY). My sister was always doted on more than me; she is blonde and cute after all. I'm not. So, my wife says, I'm like any other person wanting to be noticed. I come from a family where nothing is good enough and my point of view doesn't matter at all. Swear words were like saying hello in my household. I was called 'stupid', 'retarded', and 'psycho' on a regular basis. So, why not try to be heard when I'm used to being ignored and pushed to the side.

I'm not trying to throw a pity party, though I think it's too late for that. Now you see what I mean by needing therapy. Yea, unresolved issues here. I'm not ashamed of that though. There is nothing in my life that I'm embarrassed or ashamed by. I can admit that I was never picked for East Side West Side boy and girl skating hand in hand to C+C Music Factory. I can admit that I was unpopular and weird; I even tried to convince my classmates that I was a vampire and used to pierce myself during study hall. I have dyed my hair every color under the sun and have had my hair in dreadlocks and crust punk spikes. I used to have an eyebrow ring and even considered getting a tattoo (though I have none).

My story is unique because it's mine, damnit. And if that doesn't make it special than fuck it all! At the very least, I use this as a platform to work through my issues and relate to other human beings in the world. If someone reads one of my posts and learns something new or makes a connection, then mission accomplished.

This is my blog, and I'm sticking to it!

Signing off,

~R~