What's a Jew to Do: Part 1

This is the beginning to a play I'm working on.  It will be written in three parts, and as always with my writing, especially my fiction, I appreciate feedback.  I will be continually editing this.  However, this is a first, rough draft of the play.  I'll be updating it periodically as I edit and make changes.  Thanks and enjoy! 

NOTE: It started as a short story but I changed it to a play because, well, it was funneling out more as a play in my head.  I think it sits better as a play; that's how I was visualizing it.

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What’s a Jew to Do?

(this is my original work and any attempt to reprint or copy needs my written permission)

Part 1

Lights up on a stage set to look like a college apartment.  There is a couch set at a diagonal CSR.  A computer desk is across from it SL.  Daniel’s bedroom is DSR and Ethan’s bedroom is DSL.  The kitchen area is UCS and the front door is USL.  The stage can be pretty bare except for the necessities like a couch and a desk with a laptop. 

Daniel and Ethan are dressed like typical college students.  Except that Daniel is much more clean cut than Ethan.  Ethan is a ‘hippie Jew’ and can have tie-dye, dreads, overalls, the works.  Daniel is wearing jeans and a college sweatshirt.  Though they contrast, it shouldn’t be too apparent.

ETHAN

(with a Santa hat, singing)

“Rockin’ around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday.  Everyone dancing merrily in a new old fashioned way.”

DANIEL

(annoyed)

Cut that shit out, Ethan!

ETHAN

Daniel, chill, the song was written by a member of the tribe, after all!

Daniel walks across the apartment to the computer and turns the speakers down.

ETHAN

I mean, it’s not like you’re going to synagogue these days.  The last time you went was Yom Kippur nineteen ninety what?

DANIEL

Ethan, I don’t mind the Christmas carols, really I don’t.  I just wish you wouldn’t blast them and sing along like we’re Santa’s fucking elves or something.

ETHAN

Okay, okay.  I get it.”  Ethan walks to the computer and begins typing something that Daniel cannot see.  He, in fact, changes the Pandora station on the computer which changes the mood entirely.  “Maybe you vant a little bit of the old country, nu?  Daniel, boychik? (pinches Daniel’s cheek)

Some very “Jewish” sounding klezmer band music starts to play.  Ethan begins to clap his hands together first left, then right.  He then begins to stomp on the floor making it look like he knows what he’s doing but in fact he is ad-libbing a ‘tribal’ looking Jewish dance.

DANIEL

That’s not much better.  Why can’t you just turn on some indie or 70’s power rock?  You know, like a normal person?

ETHAN

Damn, dude.  Are you still pissed after Alana dumped you?  What did she say, that you weren’t ‘Jewish’ enough or something?

DANIEL

Ethan, can we please not talk about this.  Daniel sulks for a second and takes another swig of his Sam Adams Winter Lager.  Okay, for your information, I went to dinner with Alana and her parents.  It was a complete fucking disaster.  We went to this kosher deli over in Brookline and it was, what do you call it when you can only eat meat?

ETHAN

Ethan clears his throat and makes a sound like he is going to spit.  ‘Fleishig?’

DANIEL

Yea, and so we sit down to eat.  Me, being a dumbass, asks the waiter for a cheeseburger.

ETHAN

So?  Dude, there are lots of Jews who eat cheeseburgers.

DANIEL

Yea, but Alana’s parents are pretty Jewish.  They didn’t even want to eat at this restaurant that Alana picked because they didn’t think it was ‘kosher’ enough.

ETHAN

What do you mean?  A restaurant is either kosher or not, end of story.

DANIEL

Ethan, apparently, some restaurants are like SUPER kosher because of the rabbi blessing the food or something.  So this restaurant ended up being fine, but believe me, Alana’s parents had to talk to the owner and chefs for like twenty minutes.  They flipped out because they saw a woman eating a bagel with cream cheese.  But, the cream cheese was tofu and therefore..

ETHAN

Therefore, it wasn’t dairy.  It was pareve, so the restaurant wasn’t mixing meat and milk.

DANIEL

Right.  But Alan’s mother nearly had a coronary right then and there.  That woman is so uptight.  But anyway, so we sit down and Alana’s father is even wearing a yarmulke.

ETHAN

Alan’s mom is hot, dude.  Does she wear a sheitel though?

DANIEL

A what?

ETHAN

You know, a wig.  I think Orthodox women who wear wigs are even hotter than those who don’t.

DANIEL

You’re fucked.  No, she wears hats.  You know, those big frilly elaborate hats that probably cost $300 each.  But, you’re getting me off the point, shitwad!

ETHAN

Okay, well go on.  I’m all ears.

DANIEL

Well, so anyway, everyone is ordering, and I ask for a cheeseburger.  Then, Alana’s parents stare at me in shock.  They didn’t know, though, that the restaurant also had vegetarian cheese.

ETHAN

Okay, so they think you’re a little out of it.  But, why is that such a big deal?

DANIEL

Well it’s what happens next.  Do you remember the story of when I was a kid?

ETHAN

Which one, your family is really fucked up.

DANIEL

The one where I go to Sunday School and learn about being kosher.  I then go home and tell my parents that I want to keep kosher.  So they agree and try it, though they continue eating shrimp and ham.  So, every Saturday morning, my mom would cook a special, big breakfast.

ETHAN

You know that if your parents were respecting your wish to keep kosher then they should have also told you about not cooking on the Sabbath.

DANIEL

Whatever, will you let me continue?  Ethan nods.  Okay, so every Saturday morning, my mom liked to cook eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, the works, ya know?  So, me wanting to keep kosher, she tries to buy these tofu sausages that taste like cardboard.  So, usually I just eat what everyone else has except for the pork products.  So, there’s this one specialty she makes called ‘backahn’.  I used to think it was out of some special Jewish cookbook.  It was so good.

ETHAN

Dude, I’ve never heard of ‘backahn’.

DANIEL

That’s because it doesn’t exist.   While I was at lunch with the Nissenbaums, I take some ‘backahn’ out of my coat pocket.  You know, I carry it around and eat it like beef jerky sometimes.

ETHAN

That’s weird, dude.

DANIEL

 So when I get my burger, I put it on my plate.  Everyone, including the waiter just stares at me, horrified, like I had just slaughtered a baby deer right on the table!

ETHAN

Why? I don’t get it.

DANIEL

After Alana refused to every see me again, I called my mom and asked her about it directly.  I asked her why my eating the ‘backahn’ caused the restaurant to temporarily close and Alan’s parents to cover their eyes, run out the door, push Alana in the back seat of their car, and speed away like...

ETHAN

Like they had seen Satan in the flesh?

DANIEL

Ethan, Jews don’t believe in Satan!

ETHAN

Yes they do.  He’s in the story about Adam and Eve.  Anyway, what did your mom tell you?

DANIEL

You know for someone so knowledgeable about Judaism, you sure don’t act very ‘Jewish’.

ETHAN

What does that mean?  I’m a Rasta Jew, mon.  I smoke da herb like my forefathers did.

DANIEL

Not this bullshit again how Moses and Abraham got high.

ETHAN

How else do you explain burning bushes and oceans moving?  Totally psychedelic!  But, back to you.  What about this ‘backahn’ thing?

DANIEL

So, when I called my mom and told her about the Alana incident, she told me, very matter-of-factly, that this entire time I had been eating bacon.  ‘Backahn’ WAS bacon.  She told me that I enjoyed it so much that she didn’t have the heart to tell her six year old that it wasn’t kosher for Jews to eat.  Apparently, even after I stopped trying to be kosher, she never told her twenty two year old son either.

ETHAN

Oh damn.  I didn’t realize your family was that fucked.  So that’s why Alana dumped you.  She had big tits.  That’s too bad.

DANIEL

Dude, is that all you think about?

ETHAN

Pretty much. Ethan takes gets up to turn off the music and gets another beer. So we’re all set to go to New York for New Years, right?  We’ll stay at my cousin’s apartment.  He’s in Israel with his family right now.

DANIEL

Your cousin Josh?  Isn’t he gay?

ETHAN

That’s why his parents are taking him to Israel.  To find him a ‘nice Jewish girl’ and a rabbi who will ‘cure him’.

DANIEL

Dude, you think my family’s fucked up.  Look at yours.

ETHAN

It’s just my mom’s sister’s family.  They’re all whack jobs.  My mom hardly ever talks to Aunt Miriam.  You know, she was in a cult in the sixties.  She lived on a commune out in California and did tons of LSD.  I think it fried her brain a little bit.  She ended up marrying this really religious guy with lots of money and she’s become kind of frum.

DANIEL

Huh?

ETHAN

You know, Orthodox.  She covers her head and doesn’t wear pants.  When she found out Josh was gay, she flipped out.  So now, they’re all in Israel, finding their Jewish roots as a family.  And finding Josh a nice, quiet Jewish girl who will put up with his ‘eccentricities’.

DANIEL

Aren’t there gay people in Israel?

ETHAN

Yea, totally.  Josh will be fine.  I’m sure he’ll meet some big butch army guy and come back here and get married right here in gay old Massachusetts.

DANIEL

I’m sure your aunt would love that.  She’d have him committed.

ETHAN

So, dude, anyway, their apartment is huge.  It’s in Brooklyn Heights in this really expensive neighborhood.  Plus, we’ll have it all to ourselves.  Think about it.  What could two dudes like us do with such a situation?  It’d be like ‘Big Lebowski’ or ‘Hangover’ proportions minus the scrawny, nerdy guy.

DANIEL

Right, and you’re Jeff Bridges or Zach Galifianakis.

ETHAN

Exactly.

DANIEL

You’re such a douche.

Daniel gets up and gets another beer.  He looks in the fridge and realizes that there’s only one more beer.  He grabs it and takes a swig.

ETHAN

(annoyed)

Is that the last beer?  Aw man.

DANIEL

Yep, and it’s mine.  So, when are we leaving for New York?

ETHAN

We’ll probably leave tomorrow afternoon.  It depends on when I can get a hold of my dealer.

DANIEL

Fuck it all to hell.  Fuck, no.  Don’t bring drugs on this trip.

ETHAN

Look, it’s only some shrooms, some pot, and a little bit of hashish.  No big deal.  Besides, what’s a trip without a ‘trip’? Huh?

DANIEL

Ethan, look, I love ya man, but you are really going to fuck up your brain doing that shit.  I mean, not that there’s much in there to begin with.

ETHAN

Daniel, chill.   You should consider harshing your mellow a little, man.  Anyway, there’s a Phish show on New Year’s Eve and I need the right vibes for it.

DANIEL

Ethan, I hate Phish!  And anyway, you don’t have tickets.

ETHAN

Scalpers.  New York is full of ‘em.  I’m sure I’ll snag some good seats.

DANIEL

Well you’re flying solo on that one.

ETHAN

Don’t worry, Melissa is there.  (sings) “Sweet Melissa.”

DANIEL

Isn’t her dad a rabbi?

ETHAN

Yea but she’s a child of the earth who lovves shrooms and Phish.  Plus, I know she’ll have sex with me if she’s tripping.

DANIEL

Only if she’s tripping?

ETHAN

Well, I know she digs me, but she’s a little shy.  I actually think she likes chicks but if she’s tripping, she won’t know the difference.

DANIEL

Great for you. Daniel’s phone rings.  Hold on a sec.  He motions to Ethan and walks into the kitchen. 

(on the phone) Mom?  What?  What do you mean?  No, I’m not planning on coming home.  Where?  To New York with Ethan.  Why?  I wasn’t planning to come home for Christmas.  Why is it so important?  Wait, what?  Are you drunk?  Have you been mixing your pills with wine again?  That is outrageous!  Why the hell would I come home?  WE’RE JEWISH!  No, I know we don’t go to synagogue but that doesn’t mean we all have to be home and spend Christmas together!  I’m going to New York and that’s final.

Daniel hangs up the phone and sits back down on the couch.  He takes a long sip of his beer.

ETHAN

What the hell was that about?  Helen flipping out again?

DANIEL

Well, if you want to know, she suddenly wants everyone home on Christmas to spend it ‘together as a family’.  That doesn’t make any sense at all.  I mean, no we’re not the most Jewish family but we never celebrated Christmas either, well except that one time that I woke up on Christmas morning and found a Voltron castle by the fireplace.

ETHAN

Dude, your family is weird.  What is Helen’s problem anyway?  Her son doesn’t do drugs..

DANIEL

Though he hangs out with ‘druggies’.

ETHAN

Is that what Helen calls me, ‘druggie’?

DANIEL

She says that I could find better company to be with, that’s all.

ETHAN

That bitch!  Well, she won’t ruin our fun, right boy-o?

DANIEL

What do we have planned anyway?

ETHAN

Well, Mister DEA, I thought we could hit up some NYU parties.  Go down to the Village and bar hop.  There’s supposed to be this killer Christmas Eve show at Brooklyn Bowl.  It’s a Jewish party put on by one of those culturally Jewish magazines TRIBE or something.  They’ve got strip dreidel and Manishewitz body shots.  Plus, I think Matisyahu is playing too.  A whole bunch of Jews hanging out on Christmas eve?  C’mon?

DANIEL

Yea, I guess that sounds like fun.

ETHAN

We just gotta get a brotha laid!  And there will be plenty of hot pootytang to sample when we get to the Big Apple. 

DANIEL

I don’t know.  I always seem  to fuck things up.

ETHAN

You just have to try dating girls that aren’t psycho.  Or maybe just date girls who aren’t Jewish at all!  There’s a thought.

DANIEL

Not all the girls I date are psycho, are they?

ETHAN

Freida the Dorrito freak?  She passed out at just the smell of Dorritos and that was before she took hits on the bong.  She also meowed and purred like a cat.  That was bizarre.

DANIEL

What about the girls you date?

ETHAN

Continue.

DANIEL

Heidi?  I seriously thought about calling the National Enquirer to tell them that I had proof of Bigfoot.

ETHAN

Just because she didn’t shave her legs or pits and had big feet.

DANIEL

And smelled like she showered five years ago.

ETHAN

Well, she wasn’t psycho.  Not like Mindy.

DANIEL

Mindy was nice.

ETHAN

Mindy would talk to herself and give lectures even if no one was listening.  Remember when we were on the T and she was holding a conversation with herself in third person?  What the fuck was that?

DANIEL

Okay, okay.  So some of the girls I’ve dated are a bit odd.  So maybe on this trip you can be my wing man.

ETHAN

That’s what I want to hear.  Get back in the game.  Maybe Melissa has a friend.

DANIEL

I’m not into hippie chicks. 

ETHAN

What about the Dixie Chicks?

DANIEL

What?

ETHAN

(fakes a Southern accent) There’s that Coyote Ugly bar in the East Village.  We could saddle you up with a cowgirl like Natalie Maines.  Pause.  You know the lead singer.  She’s hot.  I’d bang her. 

Daniel shakes his head in disgust. 

ETHAN

What about chicks with dicks?  There’s Lucky Cheng’s, a drag karaoke bar on the Lower East Side.  Ladies with large adam’s apples. 

DANIEL

Gross!  No!  You’re sick.  How about a nice normal Jewish-ish girl?

ETHAN

In New York?  You’re lucky to hook up with a girl who doesn’t have STDs.  Normal and Jewish?  You don’t even…(cut off by Daniel’s phone)

DANIEL

Daniel’s phone rings again.  Hold on, man.  Daniel picks up the phone and walks toward the kitchen again.

Mom? Now what?  No.  No.  You ARE NOT doing that.  Fuck no.  Are you seriously nuts?  What about dad?  What about Leah?  Oh, I see.  Well, thanks for ruining my life.

Daniel hangs up the phone and throws it across the room.

ETHAN

What now.  What is Helen going on about now?

DANIEL

She’s coming to New York to (makes air quotes sarcastically)‘spend time with her son’.

ETHAN

What?  When?  How?  What?

DANIEL

She’s flying out tomorrow morning.

ETHAN

Oh holy hell.  Is she coming with us?

DANIEL

Well, she said that she’ll meet us in New York.  It’s another one of her batshit crazy ideas about ‘seizing the moment of the present time’.

ETHAN

Has she been indulging in the self-help section at Barnes and Noble again?  (lightens up, smiles) Well look on the bright side.  She’s not driving with us, so I can still bring the goods.

DANIEL

Dude, no.  Oh shit, this is bad, really bad.

ETHAN

Hey, Daniel.  It’ll be fine.  Besides, when I said I was going to get drugs, I meant I already got them.  There is an awkward pause. So, your mom will also be in New York the same time as us.  So what?

DANIEL

I just want to go pass out and deal with this tomorrow.

ETHAN

Okay, fine with me.  I’m gonna stay up and watch ‘Yellow Submarine’.

DANIEL

You’ve seen it like fifty gazillion times.

ETHAN

Yea, but I think I got an idea for my thesis.

DANIEL

Whatever, I’m going to bed.

Daniel goes into his room and shuts the door behind him.  Ethan stays on the couch watching tv.  Eventually, he passes out on the couch until morning.  The sound of the buzzer wakes him up.  Ethan gets up off of the couch and goes to the door.  He presses the buzzer goes back to the couch.  Then, the doorbell rings and Ethan, confused, goes to the door and looks out of the peephole.  He runs to Daniel’s room and bangs on the door.

ETHAN

Dude, Daniel, wake up.  It’s your mom.  She’s outside our door.

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End of Part 1

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creatively yours,

~R~

'Suffer the Little Children'

   The Lamb

Little Lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Gave thee life, and bid thee feed
By the stream and o'er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, woolly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?
Little Lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?

Little Lamb, I'll tell thee,
Little Lamb, I'll tell thee:
He is called by thy name,
For he calls himself a Lamb;

He is meek and he is mild,
He became a little child:
I a child, and thou a lamb,
We are called by his name.
Little lamb, God bless thee!
Little lamb, God bless thee!

-William Blake 'Songs of Innocence', 1789

The Tyger

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare sieze the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art.
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

-William Blake 'Songs of Experience', 1794 

Above are two of William Blakes' most notorious and most analyzed poems.  They compare the age old dichotomous relationship, between good and evil.  How can the same G-d have created both good, the lamb, and evil, the tiger?  How can a world be filled with innocent little lambs, children and babies, while also hiding monstrous tigers, murderers and rapists?  I know that sounds like an extreme, but really that's what the two images conjure.  

Lambs, in this sense, represent everything that is innocent and pure about our lives.  So, reasonably we would think of children, as they are innocent, having what many would call a 'tabula rosa' (clean slate).  Then, there are lions who devour the lambs without a second thought.  The lions being all the sex offenders and kidnappers, murderers and psychopaths out there lying in wait with bloodthirsty jaws.  Perhaps, however, there is more to this metaphor than first meets the eye.  

Perhaps all of us are both the lion and the lamb at once.  Or, maybe when we see acts of evil, we fear that becoming the lion might not be so far-flung and unusual.  This is true, especially since acts of terror and carnage are becoming more commonplace.  So what is it that we fear most at hearing stories like what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT?  

As a parent, I put a new spin on things when I read about terrible tragedies like the one that just transpired in Newtown, Connecticut.  Why would anyone want to sire children in a world so full of evil and wrongdoing?  We cannot protect our 'lambs' from the 'tigers' than what's the point?  That is the reverberating phrase that keeps repeating in many of our heads in the past few days.  If we cannot protect our children, our 'lambs' from the 'tigers' of the world then who can?   

Hearing about 20 children getting shot alongside of 6 adults in what is otherwise a very safe, low-crime town, it is shocking to all of our senses.  When I first heard about it, I thought that the gunman must be insane.  How can anyone shoot children?  Although, I would also ask, how can a person shoot anyone (though that brings up questions of survival and self-defense).  So, I go back to the former question.  HOW CAN ANYONE KILL/HARM A CHILD?  It is so distanced from the reality that I imagine we live in, a place where even murderers shun this thought.  In fact, in prisons, child molesters are often killed/beaten because they are considered low on the totem pole.  Even many hardened criminals would shun the idea of hurting a child.

I realize I'm making some generalities, but it is a commonly accepted fact that children deserve to be shielded from the pain, strife, and suffering that adults face.  This includes watching the news and rated-R movies.  But I digress.  My point is that, most people would agree that shielding children from danger is a top priority of our society.  We have countless numbers of organizations that help runaways, feed and clothe children, find shelter for homeless or orphaned kids.  We invest a lot of
 money, time, and resources into helping hurt, neglected, and abused children, as we should.

So, I will make a point that we should also be investing a lot of money, time, and resources, the very same that goes into helping our little 'lambs' into helping the 'tiger'.  The addicts and mentally unstable people in our society need help.  It is a fact that the majority, if not all of the shooters in recent massacres have had mental instability.  So, does this mean to bring back the asylum where we dumb the mentally/criminally insane and throw away the key?  Should we invest more energy into in-patient facilities where patients can deal with their addictions, compulsions and mania?  I think the key question to helping our 'lambs' is to help the 'tigers' as well.  In fact, shouldn't we do this in the thought that the little 'lambs' could one day become 'tigers'?

Also, many people lump together categories that describe anyone who has mental or physical limitations.  However, there are degrees that separate a schizophrenic from a person who is bi-polar or someone who has severe meth addiction.  I know it seems strange to put drug addiction and mental illness in the same category, but many who suffer from mental issues use drugs as a salve to their suffering.  And, everyone knows that drugs, especially meth and heroine can only further one's mental mania.

Remember, Charles Manson?  Well, I would argue that he did LSD and speed way too many times and actually fried his brain, like the old 'this is your brain on drugs' frying pan 'say no' eighties drug ad campaign.  The same thing happens all the time with addicts.  They use the substance to mask and hide the real issue.  I would venture to say that there must be a strong correlation between addicts and people with mental issues.  If I were a betting man, I'd bet the whole ranch, in fact.

Now, back to Sandy Hook.  Many people are discussing how we can prevent this tragedy from happening yet again.  One way, is for the media to change how it portrays and responds to tragedies of this nature.  The media have been obsessed with details, often telling us what the shooter's father drives or what the shooter's mother's last meal was.  I really don't care.  In fact, what I want the media talking about (and some are) is solutions.  How are WE, as a nation going to put our heads together and stop mass shootings from being a common headliner.

It wasn't too long ago that we read about a gunman opening fire on a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado in July of this year.  Then, the Tuscon shooting that left US Representative Gabrielle Giffords in critical condition.  Or how about the student who went on a rampage at Virginia Tech in April, 2007?   Or the first major event of its kind, the Columbine shooting in April of 1999?  Then there are all of the smaller incidents that aren't front page.  The shootings at shopping centers, places of worship, schools, malls, and department stores.  Then, taking it further, all the shootings in South Central LA or South Side Chicago, East St. Louis or Newark and Detroit.  The violence has to end somewhere. Otherwise, there's no end to this cycle.

Now, I'm not advocating for a ban on guns.  I partially am an advocate for arming oneself, as my family's history conjoins with that of the Holocaust, and one of Hitler's first proclamations to Jews was to take away their guns.  So, this is partially why I am not fully pro/anti gun.  I am pro using guns/weapons wisely and only in situations that warrant their use (like self-defense or zombie apocalypse).  The latter was a joke, to add humor to a very grim subject, but I do think we need to reexamine our relationship with guns.

First of all, there is no reason why ANY individual should have military grade weapons, like the Sandy Hook shooter's mother, for instance.  Regardless of the fact that she thought the end of the world was coming (2 days to be exact).  People can hunt and use guns for recreational use, fine.  But, they should do it responsibly.  Guns should be locked up.  They should not be easily accessed by children or people with diminished mental capacity.  The mentally/criminally insane should NEVER be allowed to own/carry a weapon AT ALL.

So what am I saying?  We need severe restrictions on who can own, carry, and use a weapon.  I know, I'm sounding like a hypocrite.  If Hitler took guns away from certain people because they were 'inferior' doesn't that mean I'm arguing the same thing?  Hell no!  If a person has a history of serious addiction or mental illness, then that person should not be able to own/carry/use a gun (or weapon of any kind).  People who are not living in the confines of everyone elses' reality are my definition for those who shouldn't have weapons, meaning people who have issues discerning reality from fantasy.  In other words, people who suffer from dissociative, manic, psychotic episodes.

So, again, I'm not saying to take away the 'right to bear arms'.  But while I'm on the topic, the second amendment, let's bring up the point that many people misuse and abuse it constantly.

Here's what the Second Amendment ACTUALLY says:

"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

 ~2nd Amendment 

 ~Bill of Rights 

~2nd Amendment up close 

However, within context, it has to do with keeping state militias intact, as the nation was just beginning.   I'll give you a 'brief' history lesson.  The army (as we know it now) didn't even begin 'formally' until June of 1775.  Though the army, as an institution, was formed when the Bill of Rights was submitted and ratified (1791), it was more like a militia then an organized enterprise that we know it as.

Also, I'd like to add that each state had its own militia and that the amendments and the entire Bill of Rights and Constitution was not only a guarantee of certain rights but also a system of checks and balances.  Each branch, executive, legislative, and judicial were supposed to keep the others in check, so that no one branch gained too much power (like a monarchy).  Remember, we had just fought off the British and declared ourselves as a nation free from the King of England (George III).  

However, there were still loyalists who were sympathetic to the British cause, otherwise known as Tories.  Then, the Whigs, were Patriots and helped object to and rebel against the British Crown.  There were also Federalists, those men who wanted more power within the government's hands and anti-federalists, those who wanted more power in the states'/colonies' hands.  

There was a lot of tension within early America, and the Bill of Rights was answering a lot of that animosity going on.  The second amendment needs to be taken within context.  We were a) worried that the British would try to come back and tax our tea again and b) worried that the federal government would gain too much power and start acting like King George III of England.  So, to guarantee that this didn't happen, we had state militias and a promise to allow them to stay armed.  There was also threat of American Indian warfare; the French and Spanish also had expeditions in America so they had to be contended with as well.  

Look, to say that the Second Amendment ONLY says that we each have a right to own guns is not exactly correct.  Within a historical frame, it is saying that we have a right to arm ourselves in regards to being a young and volatile nation.  Also, the weapons in those days took much longer to load and reload.  There were no automatic rifles or glocks.  The guns were muskets, or closer to it, where you had to stuff the ammo inside, much like a cannon.  The concept we have of 'modern' guns is not applicable. 

~Constitution and Bill of Rights Colonial History 

Am I saying the Second Amendment is null and void?  No, absolutely not.  But the threats and context that the writers of the amendment were dealing with is certainly not applicable to us.  So, where does that leave us?  Where do we go from here?  Should we have more guns, thereby arming every principal and teacher?  Hell no!  Do you know how many crazy people I've met while in the field of education?  A former colleague of mine used to take bets on which of our faculty or staff would snap and come in with a semi-automatic.  I know, it's not funny, but really we should not arm our educators.  That is ridiculous.  

At most, a few SELECT individuals should be trained in hand-to-hand combat as well as having the knowledge of how to shoot and disarm a gun.  Should schools have tighter security?  Yes!  Should parents have outlets for when their children are displaying behavior that is all but the norm?  Yes!  Should we stop pointing fingers and actually sit down together and discuss a plan of action?  HELL YES!

So, I hope I leave you with some thoughts.  By no means do I consider myself an expert on any of this.  I just wanted to offer my opinions on the matter.  And if you read this and you want to write something in response, please e-mail me.  I am much more receptive to having an intellectual discourse (minus insults and curses) via e-mail.  Writing to say I'm a #$% or a moron or any other choice word will just cause me to ignore whatever else you have to say and not only delete your comments but also report you to Blogger.  I have no tolerance for small minds and even smaller tolerance for bigotry and well, intolerance.  

My heart goes out to the community of Newtown, Connecticut.  I have cried and cried thinking about how many parents lost their children and how many children lost their parents.  It is unspeakable.  You are in my thoughts and prayers every day, Newtown.  May G-d grant you strength and peace in the oncoming months.  My blessings to you! 

(for the families of and those healing from Newtown)   

Psalm 20:  

 

 English translation to psalm 20

  

Have a pleasant day and remember to love each other.

Lovingly,

   ~R~

Rockin' in a Winter Wonderland

 For the past 10 years or so, I have been making mixes of eclectic music that I listen to over the course of the year.  I used to have rules for this, like no same artist could be repeated year-to-year or all songs had to be modern.  I have thrown out those rules, and now I just go for putting together an array of songs that tell a story.

A story of what's happening in my life and perhaps the world at large. Hopefully, the emotions and thoughts gained from each song have some similarities which forms a connection between us.  As you listen, I listen, and others listen.  We form similar pictures and thoughts in our head while also composing our own poem.

 I look at my mixes like art, so I wanted to share this year's collection with the world.  You can download these songs yourself and you'll have my mix in your hot little hand.  I usually give out my mixes as I see friends, new and old, throughout the year.  I expose friends to, what is hopefully, new and intriguing sounds while connecting people together through music.  I hope you enjoy this year's special collection.

   Rafi's Holiday Mix CD- 2012

1) This is a Test: Y-Love

2) Get Outta Dodge: Bosco Delrey

3) Revolution: Dr. John

4) A Lonely Jew On Christmas:  (4 & 5) The University of Wisconsin Mad Hatters

5) Don't Stop Me Now

6) Goin' to the Party: Alabama Shakes

7) Aw Ah Ah Ah (Party Cakes): Dan Deacon

8) (All I Wanted Was) Danger: The Milk

9) Year of Living Dangerously: Scissor Sisters  

10) Burn it Down: AWOLNATION

11) Abducted: Cults

12) A Truly Happy Ending: Junior Boys

13) Terrified: Among Savages

 

14) The Wave: Animal Kingdom

15) Circles: Apparat

16) Z: Tanlines

17) A Spool of Thread: House of Waters

18) Crystal Ball: J.K & Co.

19) Winston Cigarette Commercial: Allen Smithee

20) Non-Alcoholic Beverage: Dusty Springfield

21) Commando spatial (Space Patrol): Virginie Rodin

22) (There's) Always Something There to Remind Me: Sandie Shaw

23) Frosty the Snowman- The Ronettes

24) Medicine Spoon: Ruby Velle & The Soulphonics

25) Christmas: Rouge Wave (btw I didn't make this 25 on purpose..weird coincidence, I swear)

26) Happy Days: Doran Danoff

27) Home Again: Michael Kiwanuka

28) Without You: Eddie Vedder

29) This is Not the End: Clare Maguire 

30) Lonesome is Humanity: Olafur I Hvarfi

31) Farewell and Goodnight: Birdy

Disclaimer: To artists/musicians reading this, if you are on this CD.  All songs are purchased on I tunes (and always have been as long as I've been making these mixes).  You can look in my I tunes library..all the songs are there.  I do not sell or promote this CD for sale/monetary value.  I burn these CD's legally and give them to friends.  They listen, and hopefully go onto I tunes or the music store and purchase the whole entire CD.  The point is to expose friends to new music and connect people through music.  None of this is done for commercial or $$ purpose! 

 
Rockin' and rollin',

~R~

How Much is that Doggie in the window?

The idea of window shopping really got its start in the late 19th/early 20th century.  As the Industrial Revolution got into full swing in America, all of a sudden a new consumer class, the middle class (the bourgeoisie) was created.  Now, people had some extra pocket money and started 'window shopping'.  The nation was booming in industry and inventions; now there were new gadgets and trinkets that people wanted to buy.

New York has always been the mecca of shopping and consumer culture in America.  New York is the king of advertising and suckering people into buying things they really do not need (nor really want).  I often walk around the streets of New York taking pictures of different display windows and interesting advertisements that are especially unique and attention getting.

I will break the pictures down by category (clothing, signs, accessories, etc).  You will be able to see how NYC really breaks the mold in being able to reach its consumer.  People don't just stop and stare outside the Macy's Christmas window display.  And, it isn't only Christmas that one can find interesting displays and advertisements around NYC. 

Think especially of how advertising was often done up until the 60's/70's, on the sides of buildings.  The whole concept of window display is something more modern.  It really wasn't until the turn of the century (19th to 20th) that window dressing/display really began to take a form of its own.

Here is an old advertisement for furniture and electronics that looks about 47-57 years old, maybe older.

Ladies' Fashion:

 Kate Spade on 5th ave. and 20th st.

   

Rugby on University Place (between 11th and 12th st.)

I don't remember where this was, but it's cool!

 

 Mens' Fashion:

     Paul Smith Inc. at 5th Ave and W 16th st.

Accessories (ie. jewelry/purses): 

 Louis Vuitton on 59th and Lexington (at Bloomingdale's)

         Tiffany's at 5th ave and W. 57th st.

Yep, NYC sure has interesting windows.  I have a lot more pictures of display windows.  By far, however, the best ones always seems to be around Union Square (at Broadway or at 5th) and at 5th and Madison around Columbus Circle.  Bloomingdale's is also a sure fire win.  Their in and out of store displays are pretty awesome!

NYC display windows is artwork.  So take a look around at store front windows sometime.  It's like being in an outdoor museum.

Artfully and tastefully yours,

~R~

Revolutionary Reads (for summer)

 

Every summer,  kids go to camp and families go on vacation.  There is seemingly more leisure time for many.  Those fix-it-yourself projects and extra gardening seems to get done.  As the days stretch on and we find ways to spend weekend afternoons in the comfort of AC, there is amble time to read.  I know that summer has always been the time to read voraciously and tackle the never ending pile of books by my bedside.  So that being said, I have a list of 60 great books for summer.  They aren't light and fluffy beach reads.  Well, you can read them on the beach but many of the topics and types of literature are heady and deep.  I didn't divide them into categories.  I'll just recommend the titles.  You can do the work and, one by one, do an Amazon search or go to your library and check them out.  Have fun with these revolutionary reads for summer 2012!

   60 summer authors (who will kick you’re a$$):

Rafi’s Really Rockin’ Revolutionary Reads

• Dreams from my Father Autobiography by Barack Obama

• The Starboard Sea by Amber Dermont

• Confessions of a Prep School Mommy Handler by Wade Rouse

• One Big Damn Puzzler by John Harding

• A Walk in the Woods/Mother Tongue/I’m a Stranger Here Myself by Bill Bryson

• Einstein’s Dreams by Allan Lightman

• The Color Purple by Alice Walker

• Beloved by Toni Morrison

• The World Without Us by Alan Weisman

• Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology by Eric Brende

• Eating Animals by Jonathan Safron Foer

• Food Rules/Omnivore’s Dillema by Michael Pollan

• Night, Dawn, The Accident (Trilogy)- by Elie Wiesel

• Almost Dead by Assof Gavron

• Lipshitz Six (Two Angry Blondes) by T Cooper

• A Seat at the Table by Joshua Halberstam

• Falling Boy by Alison McGhee

• Wolf Boy by Evan Kuhlman

• Zone One by Colson Whitehead

• World War Z by Max Brooks

• 1984/Animal Farm by George Orwell

• Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

• A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

• Divided Kingdom by Rupert Thomson

• One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey

• The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

• Grendel by John Gardner

• White Noise by Don Dellilo

• God Bless America by Steve Almond

• Running With Scissors/Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs

• The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin

• Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger

• I Love You’s are For White People by Lac Su

• I’m Down by Mishna Wolff

• These Days Are Ours by Michelle Haimoff

• The Magicians/Magician King by Lev Grossman

• I’m Proud of You by Tim Maddigan

• White Lilacs by Carolyn Meyer

• Hope Was Here by Joan Bauer

• Woman at Point Zero by Nawal El Saadawai

• Sold by Patirica McCormick

• Woman Warrior by Mazine Hong Kingston

• House Made of Dawn by N. Scott Momaday

• Love Medicine/Plague of Doves by Louise Erdrich

• Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko

• School Days of an Indian Girl by Zitkala-Sa

• The Life and Times of Michael K by J.M. Coetzee

• Things Fall Apart by Chenua Achebe

• A Grain of Wheat by Ngugi Thionge

• Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton

• Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga

• Our Nig by Hariet Wilson

• Frangipani by Celeste Vaite

• Tallgrass by Sandra Dallas

• Monster by Walter Dean Myers

• Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin

• A Lesson Before Dying by Earnest J Gaines

• Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson

• To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

• The Meaning of Matthew by Judy Shepard

 

Literarily yours,

  THE BOOK WHORE,
      ~R~

LICK IT!

That's exactly what bullies and homophobes can do, LICK IT!  I'm not sure what they can lick, but they should do it.  Actually, you can imagine what they can lick.  I won't spell it out for you.  Know what else homophobes can do?  BEDAZZLE BITCHES!!

Truly, we have no time anymore for this homophobic Puritan bullshit.  Let me tell you!

What started this?  Well, yesterday I marched in the Gay Pride Parade in NYC with OFA (Obama for America) NY.  To say it was a blast would be a total understatement.  Unfortunately, my phone died so I didn't take any photos.  Yes, I know, where the fuck was my camera?  I still have to get a new memory card.  I've needed to get a new one for like 7 months now.

Anyway, that doesn't matter.  What matters is that the day was historical.  In fact, I don't even really know how to describe it to you.   It was like every single human being went to let their hair down and just watch the spectacle, not in judgement, but as observers.  I felt like everyone there learned something.  I sure as hell did.

I've always been an advocate and ally for gay rights.  I have many gay and lesbian friends (especially the latter).  I just happen to know many girls who like girls.  Even girls who like guys.  I mean, I get it.  In my eyes, girls aren't assholes like guys.  Guys are generally DB's and pigs.  Girls are just so much better.  PS: I was probably a man hating lesbian in a former life (no joke).  I really don't like guys, generally.  They suck at life!  I'm proud to be a guy, but I admit that we just don't get it most of the time; girls do!

Anyway, after putting down my gender, I can truly say that even though I prefer women, I am not judgemental of others at all.  Look, if someone likes the same gender, fine.  Love is love, period.  I already wrote a post where the Bible shit about gay marriage/sex is total bullshit.  Well, I just feel that intolerance and ignorance have no place in today's society (and for our future society).  Bigotry is on its way out.

Yesterday, the parade was an example of what society could be like if we all just tried a little harder (by we, I mean the straight community).  First of all, the OFA contingent had about 150-200 people by the end of the parade.  I remember at one point being able to see the end of our posse but then looking back and not seeing where our crowd stopped.  People kept jumping over barricades to join us.  People were grabbing LGBT for Obama placards and stickers from my hands.  I ran out of 'chum' before I reached 14th street.  Marching down 5th avenue across 8th avenue was a sensation.  I looked left and right and saw a sea of faces.  Multiple ages, ethnicities, sexualities, races, etc.  Everyone was out in full support.  This is what society SHOULD be like.

It doesn't matter if you're gay or not.  Everyone can and should be an ally.  I really don't understand why people are so small minded when it comes to this issue.  I mean, maybe I've been in NYC too long, where being gay is not 'unusual' like it is in some other parts of the country.  Here, local politicians from Mayor Bloomberg to Senator Cuomo attend the gay pride march.  In NYC, if you're not an ally, then you're the 'freakshow.'

What I liked about the Pride March/Parade yesterday is that everyone let their freak flag hang high.  Everyone (gay or straight) let heir hair down.  I mean, I was covered in stickers and beads and glitter. I had people grabbing beads off my neck (even though our group didn't have beads to hand out; I just picked them up off the ground).  It was wild and crazy; I loved it!

I also felt like such a rock star.  As soon as I turned the corner onto W 8th street, an ocean of people were clapping and high fiving.  People were cheering, whooping, and hollering.  Everyone loved us.  We were the belle of the ball, or at least that's how it felt.  We had drag queens marching with us.  We had a guy with a shirt that said, 'I like Barack and I like cock'.  There were women holding hands and guys kissing.  And everybody was marching together.  That's the magical thing here.  And I thought to myself, this is what society could function like.  This, right here.  It was truly beautiful, folks!

And I cannot say I was unaffected.  Today, in the subway, I saw some people snicker at an effeminately dressed guy.  I felt like getting up and saying to them, what the fuck is your problem.  But, I actually didn't know what they were saying since I had headphones on and I couldn't prove that they were truly making fun of this guy for wearing a bedazzled loose fitting blouse and having hair that was teased up into an up do pony on his head.  I just stared at the couple in question really hard making them feel uncomfortable.  You know, the type of stare you get from your parents or teacher.  The one I've perfected for my middle school students when they act a fool!

I can honestly say that I was affected in the sense that I realize how we need to advocate for each other's rights.  I shouldn't ONLY care about Jewish rights.  I should care about everyone's rights, which I have always done, but now it's tenfold that sentiment.  I stand even taller with my gay, lesbian, and transgender friends/family.

The highlights of this whole week were getting to shake George Takei's hand and telling him what an inspiration he is for gay and straight alike.  Also, I had a blast canvassing in the NYC gay community (Chelsea, Hell's Kitchen,  West Village) and meeting people.  I had to hand out fliers and placards.  In the process though, I stepped outside of my own comfort zone.  Having to go into places I wouldn't normally and walk through doors where people didn't know if I was gay or straight, made me step outside of myself and really think about identity and judgement.  I found two AWESOME lesbian bars, The Cubby Hole (on w. 12th and w. 4th) and Cowgirl (on Christopher st.)   It was here I met Rocky; she and I talked about politics for a solid hour or two.  We had a shitload of stuff in common.  I also met some other awesome folks both at the parade and canvassing before the event (Casey, Wilma, Diane).  I worked with some truly amazing people (Jeremy and Haley).  And all I have left to say is that homophobia is going extinct.

These are the last words I have to say on the subject. 

Dear homophobes:

Your time is over! Bullying and teasing is not tolerated anymore; everyone is tired of your antics and banal bigotry. Either come out of the closet or move to an island and start your own society where there are no gay people. That's right, you should move because society is making a shift toward acceptance of every human on this green earth. Whether you're gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, unsure, well you have a place in this present and future society because it's the new way, the ONLY way. So if you have a problem with men loving men and women loving women, then you can go colonize the moon and leave us peace loving, human-phile, pot of tie-dye love train grooviness to populate the earth and march on toward a day when people will no longer be judged based on their sexual preference and/or gender identity. 



Always an ALLY to the LGBT community, 

~R~



Pics from the NYC Pride event:

 

 

 Articles (WE MADE THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NY TIMES, BITCHES)

NY TIMES article on OFANY for LGBT

Father-should!

Today is father's day, and as a newer member to this group, I have thought a lot about what it means to be a good father.  Of course, there are no manuals for being a dad.  There are no books that tell you how to be a father or what you should do when x, y, or z happens.  However, if you are looking for a good book about fatherhood check out: So You're Going to Be a Dad by Peter Downey and also The Book of Dads: Essays on the Joys, Perils, and Humiliations of Fatherhood by Ben George.  Other than those couple of resources, you're on you're own, bud.  I, however, can share my two cents about fatherhood.

When I first became a father, I felt like I was waking up into a new plane of existence.  All of a sudden when my son was born, I saw the world with new eyes.  I looked out at the trees, the grass, and the sky, thinking to myself why didn't I notice how vibrant all these colors were before?  Why does everything feel so alive and fresh?  That feeling wore off as I learned to live off of literally no sleep.  And even here I feel guilty because though I wasn't sleeping and going through this misery with my wife, during month two of my son's life, I moved back to the Midwest in order to finalize my move and finish out my teaching gig there.  So, for about 5-6 weeks, I did get some sleep, but I just pretend that I was a zombie like every other dad out there.  And, I was a zombie for many of those first weeks. 

Seriously though, when people ask me, 'How does it feel to be a father?', I simply reply by telling them that, like anything else, it is just another phase of life.  I wasn't 'ready' to be a dad.  It just happened.  And, like anything else, I learned to take things day by day.  It is a world, however, that I have come to love and enjoy.  I never want to go back to the days of bachelorhood or being childless. Though it was nice when my wife and I could gaze into each other's eyes for hours at a time without worrying about cooking for, cleaning up after, and changing a diaper of a little wee one.

I really do enjoy being a dad.  Today, as I sat reading my son some books, his head was next to mine.  He was rolling around on the bed next to me gurgling, listening.  He wants me to retell each story again and again until he tires of it.  This is a wonderful world.  My son is just beginning to talk and repeat phrases and short sentences.  This also means that I need to watch my potty mouth, as he's already taken up the word 'crap'.  The other day, when I told him that it was time for a diaper change, he replied with 'never' and ran away.  So, yes, the fun has started already.  It's at the point where I cannot turn my back without something new happening.  My son is now a little man, a little person.  Although, even when my son was a little baby, I still took wonder in his every movement, every little noise, every moment.  I used to love watching him sleep, still do.  I just think about how wonderful it is that such a carnal act of lust can result in something so magnificent.  Life truly is amazing! 

As I reflect on fatherhood, however, I must think back to my own dad.  This part isn't as Hallmark as what I describe above.  In fact, I really identify a lot with the author Augusten Burroughs in the description of his dad in his books, namely A Wolf at the Table and Running with Scissors.  My father is not an example to be modeled.  To me, even though deep down inside somewhere I have love for this man, he is not at all the father I want to be.  My father is a bully; he is psychologically abusive and totally manipulative.  He uses money to control the people in his life, namely his wife and children.  The only conversation I've had with him in the last year have been about finances and taxes.  By the way, he acts the exact same way toward my sister, mom, and myself.  He puts us down and makes us feel small.  He pushes all of us around because he feels lousy about himself.  Just because he has a low self-esteem, he feels better by putting down his own family.

I grew up hearing words like 'stupid', 'retarded', 'homo', 'mental', 'crazy', 'no good', 'lazy', 'unproductive', 'derelict', etc.  Need I mention that I NEVER did anything to warrant any of these words.  I was not as quick to grasp mathematical concepts so my dad would regularly tell me that I belonged at the special school down the street where I'd take the special bus.  I wish I were joking, but I'm not.  One time, when he was 'tutoring' me in math, he got so upset that he tore my Grateful Dead t-shirt in half.  No matter how hard I worked to understand math, my dad made me feel like a complete failure.  I learned later, by the way, that I wasn't bad at math at all.  In fact, I grasped abstract concepts quite well and got problems right that only a handful of classmates could understand.  It was the simple stuff, the careless errors that got me.  I, however, was not bad at math.  My dad was a bad teacher.  That's all.

I hate delving into these past memories, but my dad really is a bastard.  I learned nothing from him except how NOT to be a man.  Actually, where I learned how to be a man is from his father, my grandfather.  That was a man that anyone should try to emulate.  My grandfather was the kindest, gentlest soul on this planet.  If I made a mess, spilling cereal all over the floor or getting crayon on the furniture, he would quietly clean it up.  My grandfather NEVER yelled at me or my sister.  Often, we'd play a game to try to get him to yell, but he never did.  When he would take afternoon naps, we would tap/tickle him and he'd swat thinking he was being bothered by a fly.  Then, after five minutes, he'd open one eye, smile at both of us, and go back to napping.

My grandfather was one of a kind.  Everywhere he went, people knew him.  He walked out of the house looking nothing less than dapper.  He would wear an overcoat, sports coat, and hat with feather in it.  Dressing down for him was wearing khakis and a polo shirt.  What's more is that each time I walked somewhere with him, it was like I was with a special celebrity.  He had two girlfriends, in fact.  And the two of them didn't know about the other one.  One time, I saw my grandfather talking to one of his 'girlfriends' and he told me not to tell his other 'girlfriend' about that they were talking.  He was hilarious.  I used to take him grocery shopping and over to visit his sister, who lived nearby.  I used to have lots of fun with my grandfather.  And it wasn't because he spoiled me with toys, no, it was because he spoiled me with love.  When I was with my grandfather, only I mattered.  I knew I had his unconditional love.  I didn't have to earn his love by proving how smart or how industrious I was.  He knew I was worth more than anything money could buy.

So, I learned everything about being a dad, and the man I am today, not from my father but my grandfather.  I am thankful that I had this man in my life.  I only wish that my father could have learned more from his father.  Instead, I got a father who is emotionally sterile and a borderline sociopath.  He makes people feel bad without even realizing it, or if he does, feels little to no remorse.  He was a bully in school, but unlike most bullies who grow out of this role and grow up to feel sorry for their past behavior, my dad never did this.  My father continues to bully and micromanage everyone around him, especially his family. It's really a shame!

What's the first thing my father said when he learned he was a grandfather?  'Get an abortion.'  I wish I were joking, but I'm not.  My father is half the man his father was.  And, I have learned from my father what NOT to do with my son.  With my son, I WILL play catch, camp, cook, tickle, read to him, spend time with, ride bikes, go to the park,  catch bugs, swim, swing, climb, play, roll around, slide, skate, and LOVE (no matter what).  I will be the dad who gets his hands dirty and never have a limit on how many stories I read at bedtime.  I will be firm and fair, but I will also be fun loving and silly.

Unfortunately, we cannot pick our parents.  I know in my heart of hearts that my father probably did not want children.  It was my mother who pushed him to have them.  However, my father's stone, aloof personality has taught me that not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve.  Not everyone can be as passionate and emotional about life as I am.  For that I am thankful.

So, I end this post with a thought on what makes a great dad?  Who do we consider both great and gross dads from books, television, and real life?  Ward Cleaver.  Homer Simpson.  Al Bundy.  Dr. Cliff Huxtable.  Archie Bunker.  Atticus Finch.  Daddy Warbucks.  Arthur Weasley.  Grandpa Joe (Bucket).  Darth Vader.  Silas Marner.  Abraham Lincoln.  John F. Kennedy.  Robert Kennedy.  Martin Luther King Jr.  Barack Obama. 

The idea of dear old dad has evolved though.  As a dad, we aren't removed from rearing our children.  We are now heavily involved.  Gone are the days where, as dads, we sit in 'our armchair' reading the paper in slippers and smoking a pipe only chiming in when appropriate.  Today's dads cook, clean, sew, change diapers, and get involved as much or more than today's moms.  A lot of modern parenting shares the responsibilities of raising children.  Thank goodness for that.  As a modern man, I wouldn't be able to stand around watching women do everything while we just smile and nod.  Men should learn how to do household chores.  Men should iron their own shirts and mend their own socks.

So on this father's day, I celebrate the liberated modern man who can cry openly, mop a floor to perfection, and leave every extra minute for his children and spouse/partner.  Let's all raise our glass to modernity!

  Modernly yours (in a metro macho way),

 ~R~